Thank God: A Blood-Stained, Man's Man Jesus Is Coming and Toting An AR-15 Assault Rifle, Just Like the Bible Told Him To

Abby Zimet

Our woe-begotten world got you down? Not to worry, peeps. Soon Jesus is coming back, as a warrior on a white horse, leading a mighty army, carrying a NOT-METAPHORICAL "sword," which is in fact an AR-15, because the Bible says so, which is how we got the Second Amendment, which is "where the whole thing came from." This from former U.S. Lieutenant General William "Jerry" Boykin, who has long touted Jesus as "a man's man," to the Family Research Council at the WallBuilders' Pro-Family Legislators Conference. So it must be true.

"But I say to you, 'Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.'" - Matthew 5: 39

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