Standing Your Ground Against Texting, Popcorn, Groceries, School and Life, Because Data Rage and, Obviously, Freedom

Abby Zimet

Too much. This week, this happened. Three people were shot and killed in an Indiana grocery store. Two kids were shot by a third kid, 12 years old, in a New Mexico middle school. A guy who gets paid to write things called the Newtown shootings "a convenient massacre." A four-year-old girl shot and killed a four-year-old boy in Detroit. And a psychotic retired cop shot and killed a young father for texting his three-year-old daughter's day care during previews at a Florida movie theater. During their argument, the shooter, reportedly a regular church-goer who last month confronted another family about using their cell phone, pulled out the handgun he'd brought to the movies, despite the theater's no-gun policy, because you never know when you'll need to shoot dead some guy who's irritating you during the previews. Afterwards, Fox News "psychiatrist" and "expert" Keith Ablow suggested the shooting be blamed not on guns but on cell-phones and "data rage," a diagnosis he made up on the spot, because guns don't kill people, texting does. The shooter reportedly may try to use Florida's Stand Your Ground law as a defense because he was "in fear of being attacked" after the father tossed some popcorn at him. The local sheriff feels that, given the circumstances, Stand Your Ground "does not fly here in this case." But hell, why not. This country is insane.

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