Thanks to the wisdom and omnipresence of the U.S. military, specifically the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD), Santa Claus will be accompanied tonight by two jet-fighter planes bristling with missiles, along with various online bells, whistles and Santa cams to allow kids to track "The Big Red One" and give his journey “more of an operational feel” - and to develop brand loyalty for when they turn 18. Because nothing says the season of peace and joy like military hardware with global-scanning, radar-tracking, jet-scrambling capabilities.
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