Listen up all you godless and sometimes kind of well-tanned heathens waging your unholy war on Christmas: Megyn Kelly has a few dismissive words for you. Last night the Fox "newscaster" laughed her way through the "ridiculous" notion that it might be racist in this day and age to still have a white Santa Claus. She is sure: Santa (Turkish, non-existent) "just is white." And Jesus (Semite, unknown) was too. Like, duh. On Santa: "He is what he is." See, you can't just go willy-nilly changing "facts" that make you "uncomfortable" just 'cause of some bogus "political agenda," explain the scholars at Fox "News." More on our obstinate myths from David Sedaris and an exasperated Jon Stewart.