Ted Cruz To the Future In A Coloring Book: Like the Bible!

Abby Zimet

Finally. In time for Christmas, a Ted Cruz "non-partisan, fact-driven," typo-ridden coloring book  from Really Big Coloring Books, the folks who gave us Tea Party II: Why America Loves You" and other literary masterpieces. "Suitable for any student desk in America," this fine work offers "his ideas for what he believes will help America grow," including how he was virile enough to "perform the magnificent feat (of) standing on the Senate floor and talking for over 21 hours (with) clairvoyant precision" about "the quickly approaching Obama Care disaster" which is "worse than any war. At least American soldiers have weapons with which to defend themselves.” Also God and the Constitution and hunting and yeah go 'merica. The best part, as usual, are the comments on Amazon, which alternately celebrate "A great fantasy book!" and complain, "My crayons don't work with this book...The only crayon that seems to work is "white." Our favorite: "Like the Bible!! I particularly like the part where Cruz's parents put him in a basket of rushes, and set him afloat on the Atlantic where he drifts, guided by the hand of God, to Canada."


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"Cruz has openly identifies with the Tea Party and garners support from the Republican Liberty Caucus and many independents including democrats.... Cruz s beliefs and actions stir much emotion in those following the political realm, he is a modern 'superhero' to many and looked upon in adoration and abomination by some."

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