Ask J.P. Morgan: When Will You All Go To Jail?

by
Abby Zimet

Annals of Obliviousness: The brilliant minds at J.P. Morgan came up with the idea of a question-and-answer session on Twitter using the hashtag #AskJPM, evidently unaware that everybody hates them. Hilarity ensued. Some samples: "As a  young sociopath, how can I succeed in finance?" "How can a company spend $100,000,000 per day on legal expenses and not be a criminal enterprise?" "Can I have my house back?" "Is it true that, while you don't always spit on poor people, when you do, you have perfect aim?" "Did you have a specific number of people's lives you needed to ruin before you considered your business model a success?" and "Where do babies come from?" After the insults started streaming in, JP Morgan "cancelled" the Twitter session, evidently unaware that you can't cancel Twitter. Good times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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