God Doesn't Want To Join Your Commie Heathen Baby-Killing Party Anyway, Though No Word If He/She Wants Out of Your Heart

Abby Zimet

Ever-attuned to the key issues of the day, Mittens is now assuring audiences that, unlike the unholy Democrats, he has no plan - at least today, this very minute - to take God off our coins or out of the GOP, apparently the latest rumor from the right's blogosphere or someone's Tea Party uncle's chain email but not actually anything the Democrats have ever said anything about. Still, not to worry: famous and indignant religious right-winger Gary Bauer says God just wants to take His/Her thunderbolt and go home.

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