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Tampa Sheriff to Agitators, Anarchists: Fuhgeddaboudit

by Abby Zimet

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After two years of planning for the unwashed protesting masses infiltrating Tampa for the GOP convention, Hillsborough County Sheriff David Gee has sent out a letter declaring, "Tactically, we are ready. This is a special time for local civic pride as Tampa Bay gets ready to shine." Gee has already emptied the 1,700-bed Orient Road Jail. It is now being transformed into a color-coded, closed-circuit "one-stop booking, detention, and bond-issuance center." There will be "boots on the ground," their uniforms clearly marked "to provide the appearance of a fine-tuned machine" with "a consistency in garb, response and reaction" among officers well-housed, fed, trained, staged and hydrated - Camelbacks for all! - to keep thousands of law enforcement officers "cool and collected" and "with a laser focus...a peaceful and purposeful RNC." Yikes. What could possibly go wrong?

"To the agitators and anarchists who want only to bring a dark cloud to this event, let me be clear: criminal activity and civil disturbances will not be tolerated and enforcement actions will be swift."


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