Fool's Gold: The Billion-Dollar, Chicken-Loving, Wawa-Amazed, Tree-Height-Admiring Idiot Who Would Be King

Abby Zimet

Financial filings show that both presidential campaigns are spending obscene amounts of money, with outside PACs for Romney likely outspending Obama to the tune of $100 million a month, with a total that could reach $1 billion. That's a billion dollars to elect, as his latest stop in Michigan once again illustrated, a mindless, soulless, sputtering sycophant. There is just no there,  there. Costa Rica calls, again.

"You have a lot of chicken here in Frankenmuth. Oh yeah, chicken and, you know, noodles. It's good German food right here. What a wonderful place...This is so much fun. It's so much fun running for president... To all be together on a morning like this and to be in the bright sunshine and in a beautiful place and to be running for president with your help."

"This is not about me. You're not here because I'm some spectacular speaker, you all know that. You're not here because the Republican Party is the answer to all things, you know better than that. You know, instead, that this is America. And America is the answer to all good things."

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