In honor of National Coming Out Day, an excerpt from God's new memoir, wherein He/She tells "the story of the first man, Adam; and of the companion I fashioned for him, Steve; and of the great closeting that befell their relationship."
And I called, "Adam and Steve, where art thou?"
And Adam said, "Father, there is something we need to tell thee: we are gay."
And I said, "Whhhuuuhhhhh?!?"
And Steve said, "Yea, it is true, LORD; for the snake bid me eat the fruit of the forbidden Tree; and I gave it to Adam; and now we know that we are not only here, but queer; and lo, we would thou growest accustomed to it."