Commie Zealot Spongebob Is Unfairly Blaming Humans For Global Warming

by
Abby Zimet

Hide your children! Fox News says SpongeBob SquarePants, the Department of Education and the entire pinko government is pushing a "global warming agenda" that will turn kids into environmental extremists by letting them pick out free SpongeBob books and watch a cartoon (except that actually they didn't) wherein Mr. Krabs talks about car exhaust and thus implies people have something to do with climate change, even though everyone knows that whole global warming thing is a "disputed fact," and besides they don't really get SpongeBob so whatever. Not a disputed fact: These people are idiots. Teach your children well, and don't let them watch Fox.

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