Why Is This Happening to Us and Can Jesus and Rick Perry Please Stop It?

by
Abby Zimet

Nation, we are in crisis. Let us count the ways. Well, there are many. Lo, Texas Gov. Rick Perry has decided to come to our aid with a national call to prayer - and possible presidential run - to ask "God’s forgiveness, wisdom and provision" - even though, it's true, that praying for the fires to stop didn't work so good. Many seriously creepy people are asking too. Mercy.

"There is hope for America. It lies in heaven, and we will find it on our knees."

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