What Price Crispness?

by
Abby Zimet

Today marks the start of yet another undoubtedly fruitless government
plot to control our lives and make us healthy. As part of a new law,
those wishing to fry themselves under carcinogenic-inducing lights will
have to pony up a 10% tanning salon tax. Salon owners and college
students prepping for spring break are not happy. The rest of us prefer
the beach anyway, at least until BP's damn oil starts oozing up there.

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