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Sound judgment, thy name is Michael Steele. Facing P.R., money and internal political problems in the wake of his latest fiasco – you know, that little lesbian-bondage-themed-strip-club incident – the embattled GOP chair has turned for fundraising help to a scumbag lobbyist who stole $70,000 meant to set up basebal fields for inner-city kids and was fined by the GOP for being too sleazy even for them. Steele has hired Neil Alpert, 31, as "special assistant for finance." That should solve everything – but just in case, Steele is also charging that all these people are saying mean things about him because he's, you know, black.
"They both deserve each other." – mortgage loan officer Bill Starrels