Quick! For God's and Glenn's Sake Start Your Crisis Garden Right Now!

by
Abby Zimet

Poor insane Glenn Beck. Not only did he suffer through the incoherent train wreck that was his interview with Eric Massa, but he's been abandoned by so many normal sponsors he's been reduced to running ads for
a Survival Seed Bank "that can be buried to avoid confiscation" for
when the bad guys, presumably socialists, come. The seeds are grown by
"fiercely independent farmers...in remote plots far from the prying
eyes of the big hybrid seed companies." And they're half-price - $149 -
if you buy 'em right now! Not even military or FEMA officials can get that discount! Beans for the Apocalypse! Hurry!

"You don't have to be an
Old Testament prophet to see what's going on all around us. A
belligerent lower class demanding handouts. A rapidly diminishing
middle class crippled by police state bureaucracy. An aloof, ruling
elite that has introduced us to an emerging totalitarianism which seeks
control over every aspect of our lives."

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