Zombies!

by
Abby Zimet

The U.S. Court of Appeals has ruled
in favor of a group of Minneapolis zombies who had filed a federal
lawsuit charging they were wrongfully arrested while protesting
mindless consumerism in 2006. Police said they arrested the six
lurching protesters because they thought they were carrying "simulated
weapons of mass destruction," which turned out to be portable sound
systems for a Zombie Dance Party.

"I don't give a goddamn about anybody's constitutional fucking
rights." - Policeman Edward Nelson at the station after the
arrest, according to the undead plaintiffs.

This is the world we live in. This is the world we cover.

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