The seas are swirling with mermaids' fury against Monsanto and the corporate criminals
who sabotaged the Copenhagen climate process. Mermaids know no borders.
They swam it all the way to DC Wednesday to share their anger with the
3 winners of the "Angry Mermaid Awards".
We at the DC Climate Action Factory
teamed up with a delegation of irate Danish anthrofishies and hit the
frozen streets of K and I: global corporate lobby ground zero. It's
from here that climate criminals and climate profiteers waged their war
to infiltrate and cripple the climate legislation that so many saw as
the lynchpin for progress towards a real deal at the COP. Naturally,
this place is home to the Angry Mermaid Award winners.
First stop we hit it was API, the American Petroleum Institute.
API came in at 3rd place in global interweb polling of over 10,000 homo
sapiens sapiens and mermaids. API's lobbying war chest weighed in at
$4.1 million this year. Beyond the beltway, they fielded a mercenary
astroturf army, lobbing lies at congresspeople and directing climate
coverage in corporate media. All to perpetuate the fossil fuel economy
that's devastating the planet and threatening mermaids, humans, and
everyone else who depends on natural temperatures and stable ecosystems.
Apparently someone tipped them off, because we arrived to find the
API entrance caution-taped. But nay, no length of ribbon could thwart
our MERMAID FUNK ARMADA. We triumphed in delivering a 5ft. Angry
Mermaid award inside the building despite heavy resistance from the
astroturf army sentinels who tried in vain to blockade the entrance.
But that's all for another video. And so is our daring ascent up the highest steeple in the Church of Shell Oil,
Jorma Ollila's sustainable tar sands spa. Yes, we bested them too, the
2nd place winners. But that is also for another video. This is a 3-part
What we can share is this: Exclusive footage
of a daring fin and foot dance attack on Monsanto castle, 1st prize
winners. We were victorious in our goal of decorating Monsanto's
terrific genetically modified Christmas tree with a life-size Mermaid
trophy. But, alas, there were casualties on our side. Chalk another up
for the murderous behemoth that is Monsanto.
Monsanto is at the head of the corporate climate profiteers‘ counter-evolution, undermining sustainable technology by lobbying for false solutions
to the CO2 emissions crisis. Monsanto's prime false solution is leading
the proprietary GMO biofuel monoculture empire. Similarly, Shell and
API champion Carbon Capture technology and unconventional extraction
like the Alberta Tar Sands project.
Alongside the false solutions scam, the Angry Mermaid winners feed from another common trough:
government subsidies for carbon-intensive economic sectors. All three
winners benefit from fossil fuel, factory-farming, and
military-industrial subsidies. The related industrial sectors,
transport, industrial agriculture, dirty energy, manufacturing, and
war, comprise the greatest emitters in the second-worse emitting
country in the world.
As people who depend on the land and water ecosystems in the United
States and depend on the same oceans and atmosphere, we share in the
rage of the angry mermaids. Thus the uncompromising beat of our global
MERMAID FUNK ARMADA. We are unstoppable. And as with all things
unstoppable, more action is on the way.
Here's another DC Delivery by the Organic Consumers Association