Abusive Talking Burgers and Other Brilliant Ideas

by
Abby Zimet

Walking by the Burger King at the end of my road, I suddenly noticed a huge ad
for an Angry Whopper. Hmm, I thought, just what this country needs: more mindless rage. On the BK website I learned it's
a Whopper with spicy crispy onions, "angry sauce" and a bunch of other stuff. I also learned about
the Angry-Gram - "the perfect way to let someone know they annoy the
hell outta you" - wherein you can email, to people who've pissed you off, a talking burger
who tells zingers like "I'd rather stick a fork in my pancreas than
meet your co-workers" and "Your cousin's a great example of why we need
population control." On hearing these jokes, my seven-year-old offered
a wan smile. Followed, a minute later, by, "Could you turn that off?"
Oh captains of industry, you who have given us this crass and mean-spirited culture, hear our cry.

This is the world we live in. This is the world we cover.

Because of people like you, another world is possible. There are many battles to be won, but we will battle them together—all of us. Common Dreams is not your normal news site. We don't survive on clicks. We don't want advertising dollars. We want the world to be a better place. But we can't do it alone. It doesn't work that way. We need you. If you can help today—because every gift of every size matters—please do. Without Your Support We Simply Won't Exist.

Share This Article

More in: