Christ Is Coming: Put Little Lights on Your Juice Can

by
Abby Zimet

In what is invariably a bad sign, the Bible-and-juice-can-packing
Bolivian preacher who hijacked yesterday's Aeromexico flight said he was on a divine mission and had been
told by God to warn
the Mexican president of an earthquake "like none there has ever been."
Echoing George Bush, Sarah Palin, Joe the Plumber, Charles Manson and
other notables of questionable judgment who have likewise cited divine
inspiration, José
Mar Flores, 44, said God told him to choose the day, 9/9/09, because it
was 666 upside down.

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Flores, on having told authorities he had three accomplices: They were "the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." 

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