We thank God for Oklahoma's Rep. Sally Kern, who has proposed a resolution to lead us out of our recession and multitude of earthly woes. Her whereas-strewn Citizens' Proclamation for Morality blasts a nation "that has become a world leader in abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, divorce...and other forms of debauchery" – not to mention a president who "disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to an immoral behavior" – and calls for "a national awakening of righteousness in our land," presumably followed by fewer layoffs and foreclosures.
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"WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of reliance upon the Creator of the Universe...and WHEREAS, we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national moral crisis....NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned....believers in the One True God and His only Son, call upon all to join with us in recognizing that Blessed is the Nation whose God is the Lord."