Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore, But Your Plate Might

by
Abby Zimet

 Jesus

Trust Florida, home of the infamous hanging chad, to come up with a Jesus license plate. The new plate is causing some controversy among Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, agnostics, anarchists, Darwinists, Satan-lovers and everyone else who isn't sure the place for the son of God is out in the sun, hard by the asphalt, breathing fumes. So much for separation of church and state. John Prine, we need a song, please.

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