On February 8, 2007, at the age of 39, Anna Nicole Smith died for
your sins, America.
Maybe you think that's a little strong?
But she did. She died for all of you who watch "American Idol" week
after week - that's 33.5 million of you, by the way - making that cruel
show the most popular program in America. For six years running.
And for you who cast more votes for the last Idol winner than for
the last president of the United States.
And for you deluded men and women who think surgery is the way to a
happier life, who never understand that beauty is only skin deep, who go on
television shows to get nose jobs and who risk your lives to get your
stomachs stapled.
And for you nitwit comedians who make jokes about women's "racks"
and the rest of you men who place so much emphasis on bust measurements
that women without large breasts feel inferior. And that goes for you, too,
Hugh Heffner. You have a lot to answer for. And Howard Stern, you too.
And for you gold-diggers out there looking to marry money, and for
all of you who already have - and that includes all of you who married
Donald Trump.
And for you women desperate to be "famous," for whatever reason,
who do anything to get attention, to be photographed, to be on television
even if it means showing your breasts to a passing camera, or sleeping with
casting directors, or making porn.
She certainly died for all of you.
One commentator said that while Diana was "The People's Princess,"
Anna Nicole Smith was "The People's Whore."
There's your mascot, America.
And there you are, Anna Nicole or Vickie Lynn, lying in a
refrigerated drawer while people fight over your body. I guess reality just
crept up on you.
We watched while you were stunningly beautiful. And we watched when
you were overweight and juiced to the gills. We watched you crawling all
over men and women, looking for a fleeting sexual rush. We watched you
crawl all over your son, too. Your son, who was dead at 20 from an
overdose, your son who loved his mother and was used to watching her have
sex.
Now we watch as seven - or is it eight? - men climb out of the
woodwork, claiming to be the father of your poor baby girl. That's seven or
eight men who say they slept with you in one short period. And it doesn't
count the women.
How many surgeries were there, Anna Nicole? Including the one
where you reportedly used liposuction, even though you credited TrimSpa and
became their spokeswoman, baby.
I'm not faulting you for being a slut. I actually enjoyed that part
of your life. Women have always used sex for survival in a man's world. You
were honest about it. You flaunted it in America's face. Your marriage to
an 89 year-old millionaire was reality-show "reality" come true. Every now
and then, I read, you would come into the room, dance naked for him,
relieve him, and then go spend some more of his money and sleep with his
staff. It may have been the only honest thing you've ever done.
And who's going to fault you - besides his furious family? He found
you in a strip club. I think we can assume he knew what he was getting
himself into.
We still know the names of the mistresses of the French kings, for
God's sake. How is what you did any different?
Your life was almost a symbol of what America's become. Rapacious,
willful, undisciplined, ignorant, venal, anything for pleasure, anything
for conquest. Tell me that's not America incarnate.
You were a growth industry, Anna Nicole, and what's more American
than that? Your own reality series. Endless photos in the magazines. Within
a week of your son's death, you had sold the last pictures of him alive for
$650,000.
People Magazine has a circulation of 3.7 million. U.S. Weekly has
a circulation of 1.7 million. Star has a circulation of 1.4 million. While
the circulation of most magazines is dropping like an elevator with its
cables cut, entertainment magazines have seen "staggering growth" in recent
years. They should thank you, Anna Nicole.
According to USA Today, "a new Pew poll finds that most Americans
say the media overdo celebrity news - but they watch it anyway: 61% said
the media have overplayed Smith's death, but 11% followed it as closely as
the 2008 presidential campaign (13%) or Super Bowl (11%)... Cable news
networks, entertainment programs and mainstream media Web sites all spiked
after Smith's death... CNN, for example, devoted 90 minutes of
uninterrupted coverage to Smith's death when her body was discovered,
longer than it gave President Bush's State of the Union address."
You can't shoulder all the blame, Anna Nicole. There were strumpets
before you, strumpets alongside you (Paris Hilton, anyone?) and there will
be strumpets coming after you. When Britney Spears shaved her head last
week, it made all the papers And now, I understand, quite a few Web sites
are selling (fake) strands of her hair.
How low can you go, America?
Anna Nicole's mother, Virgie Arthur, said she once asked her
daughter why she said and did all those outrageous things. And Anna Nicole
replied, "I'll do whatever it takes. If my name's out there, I make money."
That's the American dream, baby.
Now tell me, America, she didn't die for your sins.
Joyce Marcel is a journalist who lives and works in southern Vermont. A
collection of her columns, "A Thousand Words or Less," is available through
joycemarcel.com. And write her at joycemarcel@yahoo.com.
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