Remember the slogan, "the personal is political"? International Women's
Day, March 8, is a great time to revive it.
Today, it's regressive fundamentalists, not progressives, who are more
comfortable talking about the personal as political. They, not
progressives, dominate the debate over "private" life and "family values."
Yet family relations directly influence what people consider normal and
moral in all relations -- public as well as private. We must challenge
the reactionary, increasingly fundamentalist "traditional family values"
agenda. We cannot build a healthy democracy on a foundation of
authoritarianism and intolerance -- in the home and outside it.
Family relations affect how people think and act. They affect how people
vote and govern, and whether the policies they support are just and
genuinely democratic or violent and oppressive.
Slogans like "traditional values" often mask a family "morality" suited
to undemocratic, rigidly male-dominated, chronically violent cultures.
They market a "traditional family" where women are subordinate and
economically dependent, where fathers make the rules and severely punish
disobedience -- the kind of family that prepares people to defer to
"strong" leaders who brook no dissent and use force to impose their will.
How can we expect people raised in authoritarian families -- where men
are ranked over women and children learn that any questioning of belief
and authority will be punished -- to vote for leaders whose policies
promote justice, equality, democracy, mutual respect and nonviolence?
It's not coincidental that for regressive fundamentalists -- whether
Christian, Hindu, Jewish or Muslim -- the only moral family is one that
models top-down rankings of domination ultimately backed up by fear and
force. It's not coincidental that the 9/11 terrorists came from families
where women and children are terrorized into submission.
To build cultures of justice, safety and real democracy, we need
families where women and men are equal partners, where children learn to
help and persuade rather than hurt and coerce, where violence is not
modeled, and where children are encouraged to think for themselves.
The World Health Organization reports that every year 40 million
children under age 15 are victims of family abuse or neglect serious
enough to require medical attention. Sexual abuse and rape are also
rampant. Here in the United States, a woman is battered, usually by her
spouse or boyfriend, every 15 seconds.
Every progressive movement has challenged traditions of domination and
violence once justified on moral grounds -- from the biblical condoning
of massacres and slavery to the "divine right" of kings to rule their
"subjects" and the "divine right" of "superior" races to rule "inferior"
Traditions of domination and violence in family and sexual relations
perpetuated under the guise of religious morality are the major holdout.
They must be recognized -- and changed -- worldwide.
Progressives cannot retreat on moral values and emotionally charged
issues such as abortion and homosexual rights. We need a progressive
pro-family agenda that is in line with the core teachings of all
religions: caring, empathy and responsibility rather than coercion,
intolerance and violence.
This is not a pipe dream. The Nordic nations, for example, have
prosperous economies, with longer life spans and much lower crime rates
than the United States. Women and men are more equal partners and
policies such as universal health care and paid parental leave foster
family and societal health.
In the United States, pro-family, pro-child, pro-woman, pro-democracy
Enumerate rights for all children -- the right to shelter, nutrition and
health care, a clean environment, and freedom from violence.
Promote equality for women and for all families, whether parented by a
man and woman, a single parent, or two parents of the same gender.
Support families with policies such as paid parental leave, high quality
childcare, and preschool for all children.
Protect reproductive freedom and show that the best way to prevent
abortions is to provide family planning and sex education, as do other
nations with much lower abortion rates.
Provide education for healthy, nonviolent family relations and parenting
for both boys and girls.
Promote real educational reform through small classrooms and small
schools where every child has individual support and attention.
We can't expect to build societies respecting human rights and democracy
when millions of people grow up in authoritarian families that routinely
violate human rights.
This isn't a question of Democrats versus Republicans. It's about
promoting values that truly help us make our society safe, prosperous,
just, and equal.
Riane Eisler is author of "The Power of Partnership" and the
international bestseller, "The Chalice and The Blade." She is co-founder
of the Spiritual Alliance to Stop Intimate Violence (www.saiv.net) and
presidentof the Center for Partnership Studies
(www.partnershipway.org). She can be reached at email@example.com