I wanted to first start with an apology. As you may have noticed, I tend to only get in touch when I want something, but I’m working on that. Oh, sorry. Guess you already knew that.

Actually, I’m not looking for much this time other than a little clarification.

As you well know, the world is in turmoil. More than 1100 American soldiers and over 100,000 Iraqis, including scores of innocent children, have perished in an assault that began as the result of a little “misunderestimation” by our current leader in the WMD’s department.

Over 70,000 human beings have been murdered during the ongoing genocide in the oil-barren Sudan, with that number rising steadily; where men continue to be slaughtered and women brutally raped at an alarming rate. Yet, the world looks on in silence.

Poverty and unemployment are on the rise and 45 million Americans are living without health insurance. Although our elected officials refuse to acknowledge the irreversible and irrefutable damage being done to the planet we have now thoroughly trashed, there is a really big elephant residing in America’s ecological living room.

OK, so I may be a bit of a downer and I’m not the most fun at a party these days, but it’s not all my fault. It’s kind of hard to be jovial during such times of duress.

So what’s the deal? Are you angry? Is it something we did or didn’t do? Or is this some sort of test? Obviously we’re failing miserably if it is.

Take the recent Presidential election, (please, take it), where the numbers didn’t quite add up again. The news media and our public officials would have us believe that the election was won as the result of people casting faith-based votes. And while that all sounds nice on paper, it seems to me that a lot of the good folk of this nation were less comfortable with guys kissing than they were with obliterating and overtaking a country while killing and maiming thousands.

Maybe I’m naïve, but if you didn’t want there to be gays, why did you create them? Was that a test too? Hmm. It’s all very confusing.

That’s why I decided to go directly to the source. The President has implied on numerous occasions that he has some sort of direct line to you, so I thought what the heck? Maybe I could follow his lead and get my queries answered in a timely fashion too.

Because right now, I’m filled with more questions than answers, like, when you said, “Thou shalt not kill,” that meant everyone, right? Like, no killing at all. None whatsoever. Nada,. Zilch. Zero. Never, right? That was my interpretation of that law, anyway.

But it seems to me that many of your disciples may be employing a looser interpretation of your admonition not to snuff the life out of their fellow human beings. And it’s my humble observation that your message of love is seriously being trumped by the strong message of hate that many seem to be promoting under the guise of freedom, religion and pseudo-security. While some of those in charge profess to follow the Good Book, I find myself wondering if they only read the cliff notes, because it doesn’t appear that they are getting the full gist of your message.

If it’s not too much to ask, I could also use a little explanation on some other key issues, like when are we supposed to employ “An eye for an eye versus “Turn the other cheek?” That’s always been a confusing one for me and I suspect a lot of other people find this bewildering based on the behaviors they often exhibit.

Well, I guess that’s all for now. I’ll look for some sign that you got my message. Don’t worry if you can’t respond right away. I'll understand. I know we’re keeping you pretty busy.

Respectfully yours,

Jill Jacobs

(Oh, sorry. Guess you already knew that).

Jill Rachel Jacobs is a writer and humorist living in New York City.

© 2004 Jill Jacobs

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