McDonald's sells Happy Meals. Halliburton Co. sells invisible ones.

The mammoth defense firm once headed by Vice President Dick Cheney has suspended outstanding food bills of $174.5 million until it can resolve an embarrassing dispute with the Pentagon.

According to military officials, Halliburton invoiced the government for four million phantom meals that were never served to U.S. troops in Kuwait.

A Halliburton subsidiary, KBR, has the contract to feed all American service personnel in the war zone. Soldiers eat lots of food, and Halliburton has been making lots of money.

Too much money, according to the Army.

Earlier this month, Halliburton agreed to repay the U.S. government about $27.4 million that it had overbilled for meals at five military bases in Iraq and Kuwait.

Auditors are currently reviewing the records at 53 other dining installations operated by KBR. The company says it has done nothing wrong, and 'is a good steward of taxpayers' dollars.''

Back when Halliburton was given such a large and lucrative role in U.S.-occupied Iraq -- it also got the contract to repair and refit the oil fields -- the Bush administration denied that it was handing out favors to the Texas-based conglomerate.

Americans were assured that the selection of Halliburton had nothing to do with the Cheney connection, a line which nobody with an IQ over 75 believed.

Not surprisingly, the decision is now backfiring. First came allegations that the firm was overcharging for gasoline being shipped to Iraq, a matter now under investigation by the Pentagon inspector general.

Then, in January, the company admitted that two of its employees had pocketed enormous bribes from a Kuwaiti subcontractor servicing U.S. troops. Halliburton promptly coughed up a $6.3 million reimbursement check.

Americans aren't naive about war. They know it's a highly expensive enterprise, and a profitable one for defense contractors. Still, there will be little public tolerance for findings of price-gouging and overbilling by an outfit with ties to the vice president, who is nearly as invisible as Halliburton's troop meals.

Connecting the dots

As the war in Iraq grows increasingly unpopular, the company's windfall looks increasingly obscene. Democrats are already urging voters to connect the dots:

• In 2000, Cheney agrees to leave Halliburton and become George W. Bush's running mate.

• Halliburton says goodbye to Cheney with a stupefying retirement package worth more than $20 million.

• When Bush decides to invade Iraq, Cheney's old company gets the biggest chunk of the business.

The White House wants us to believe it's all coincidence, and maybe it is. Maybe someday I'll win the Daytona 500, too. In a golf cart.

The war has been a spectacular boon for Halliburton, which last year raked in $3.4 billion for its work in Iraq -- about 20 percent of the company's total revenue, according to Bloomberg News.

Wall Street investors are jolly, as well. The price of Halliburton stock has shot up about 61 percent since the invasion.

Those are grand statistics indeed, until you stack them up against the half-trillion-dollar deficit that the country is now stuck with, thanks in large part to this pointless war. Or the zero weapons of mass destruction that have been found. Or the 545 U.S. soldiers who have so bravely given their lives on Iraqi soil.

Two more were killed Thursday, blown up by a coward's bomb on a road near Khaldiyah, 50 miles west of Baghdad.

The night before, the U.S. base at Abu Ghrain prison was shelled for 20 solid minutes by unseen insurgents. Thirty-three mortars and five rockets were fired at our troops. Miraculously, none were killed.

Every day brings new attacks, and often a new bloodbath. The latest trend is suicide car bombers who target Iraqi police and civilians.

Speaking of which, that's one statistic nobody has nailed down -- exactly how many thousands of Iraqi citizens have died since the bombs began to fall almost a year ago. Perhaps nobody in command knows for sure, or wants to.

Faced with gloomy polls, the Bush administration is eager to start withdrawing forces before the November election. It wouldn't be the first time that a military exit strategy has been accelerated by political pressure.

In the meantime, as U.S. diplomats and local religious leaders debate what kind of democracy the new Iraq should have, our troops will stay where they are -- getting sniped at and bombed and rained with mortars.

Halliburton will get richer, even as it argues with the Pentagon over how many meals it's actually serving to American units.

This week, sadly, there are at least two fewer soldiers on the food line.

Copyright 2003 Knight Ridder

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