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Don't Worry, Osama, You'll Get Your War
Published on Tuesday, October 22, 2002 by the Philadelphia Inquirer
Don't Worry, Osama, You'll Get Your War
by Harry Wolf
 

Why don't we hurry up and invade Iraq? Osama has been waiting for this all of his life. Let's not keep the man waiting.

Uncle oSAMa Says: I Want YOU To Invade Iraq
Image from TomPaine.com
Don't lose sleep over it, Osama. We will attack Iraq. Your Islamic world will have its jihad. Your Sept. 11 attack wasn't intended just to kill almost 3,000 people. We know that you meant to change the world and maybe someday control it.

This time it will be so much easier than the gulf war: Al-Jazeera TV - your own CNN - will stir up the hatred among all Muslims. They will become enraged at seeing the first civilians killed by the godless soldiers from the West. The missiles Israel fires in retaliation will Zionize the war. The martial law occupation of a Muslim country by America, the Satan of the West, will never be accepted. They didn't even try to create a nation out of Afghanistan. The fall of Baghdad will lead to chaos. Your terrorist cells will more than triple just as you were decentralizing al-Qaeda. What a perfect plan!

The fall of Iraq will not hurt you. Weapons are available in so many other places. Just be thankful we consider Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah our ally. Saudi Arabia is where you started al-Qaeda after the gulf war. Gifts from charitable organizations and from wealthy individuals were helping support your cause. A pesky task force, sponsored by the Council on Foreign Relations, pointed that out. Lucky for you the Bush administration wasn't listening.

Your hometown and your friends are safe, Osama, and the rest of the world will be terrorized.

And you will sit back like the chairman of the board, and survey all that you have conquered, when they attack Iraq.

Harry Wolf lives and writes in Collingswood, PA.

Copyright 2002 Philadelphia Inquirer

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