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Elections and Evolution
The progress of Evolution from President Washington to President Grant was alone evidence enough to upset Darwin.
— Henry Brooks Adams, The Education of Henry Adams
The upcoming presidential campaign will almost certainly prove enlightening and singular. The United States will be the only country in the world where two candidates for its highest office will engage the country in a meaningful debate on evolution. For too long it’s been taken for granted although not by Michelle Bachmann and Rick Perry who promise to revive the debate. If one of them is elected president it is almost certain that the new president would propose legislation to address evolution, most likely outlawing it although that is only a guess. Rick Perry has the most experience addressing evolution and that should work in his favor. In early July he put his imprimatur on the vexing problem of what to teach children by appointing Barbara Cargill the new chairwoman for the Texas State Board of Education.
Ms. Cargill was a biology teacher and is well qualified to judge evolution. As a board member she has voted to require that the theory’s weaknesses be taught in classrooms. In questioning evolution she mirrors Mr. Perry’s views on the subject. In an interview with the Associated Press Mr. Perry said that: “There are clear indications from our people who have amazing intellectual capability that this didn’t happen by accident and a creator put this in place. Now, what was his time frame and how did he create the earth that we know? I’m not going to tell you that I’ve got the answers to that. I believe that we were created by this all-powerful supreme being and how we got to today versus what we look like thousands of years ago, I think there’s enough holes in the theory of evolution to, you know, say there are some holes in that theory.” If people with “amazing intellectual capability” even though not identified, are opposed to the theory that should certainly be good enough for the rest of us and, should Mr. Perry become president, we can all hope that at least some of these people will be his advisors. Equally compelling is Mr. Perry’s tautological statement that “there’s enough holes in the theory of evolution to, you know, say there are some holes in that theory.”
Mr. Perry will not, of course, be permitted to get to the oval office without a challenge from an equally compelling intellect in the person of Michelle Bachmann. Although her campaign has been marred by occasional confusion, she, too, will help us focus on the need to rethink evolution. (Most notably she confused America’s movie hero, John Wayne, who killed outlaws on the silver screen, with one of America’s more notorious serial killers, John Wayne Gacy who murdered 33 teenage boys and buried 26 of them in the crawl space of his home. When not murdering children he performed as “Pogo the Clown” at charitable fundraising events, parades and children’s parties.) At the Republican Leadership Conference in June 2010 she said: “I support intelligent design. What I support is putting all science on the table and then letting students decide. I don’t think it’s a good idea for government to come down on one side of a scientific issue or another, when there is reasonable doubt on both sides. I would prefer that students have the ability to learn all aspects of an issue whether they disagree with my premise or not. I just believe in the science. And that’s why I believe that the federal government should not be involved in local education to the most minimal possible process.” In 2006, in a panel discussion on the subject, she said that are “hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel prizes that believe in intelligent design.” Given the opportunity to name the Nobel laureates to whom she was referring at the Leadership Conference she elected to ignore the questioner and went on to talk about other matters. If she becomes president, one of the first things she should do is create a task force to advise her on evolution so that the entire country can be brought up to speed on this vexing concept.
Neither of these candidates should be seen as one-issue candidates, however. Once Mr. Perry has put evolution to rest he can focus the country’s attention on global warming, which he says is simply a ruse by scientists “who have manipulated data so that they will have dollars rolling into their projects” to procure grants. Michelle, on the other hand can focus on homosexuality. Fresh from her victory in Iowa she announced that when she is president she will reintroduce the ban on gay troops serving in the military. Speaking on CNN she said the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy has worked well and she would probably reinstate the ban.
By the time either of these candidates has finished serving as president, the United States will be a country of which all who have not fled to saner places, will be proud to be citizens.
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17 Comments so far
Show AllExcellent.
Maybe we can get a new Prez to address the highly contraversial issue of whether the Earth is round or flat.
And common sense and your own eyes will tell you that the sun goes around the Earth, not the other way around. Time to irradicate these unproven theories from education.
And, did I mention the idea of "gravity?"
sj
I believe in ADAPTATION and not evolution. Does this make me a heretic?? I think not. I am a Christian. Does this make me a neanderthal slug?? I think not.
I hate these phoney Christianists pushing their BS upon the People. I hate evolutionists telling me things don't degrade. Physics and chemistry tell us something very different. Can we get some reasonable thought on these matters?? I think we can and I will bet money that my views carry more weight with the majority than either the Christianist Reich or the Evolutionists.
"I believe in ADAPTATION and not evolution."
"I hate evolutionists telling me things don't degrade."
What do those cryptic statements mean?
Steppingrazor doesn't know. It's just stuff he read somewhere in some publication no doubt issued by a Christian institution he cares about.
What the hell does "things" not degrading have to do with the cumulative change in traits of species over geologic time?
Not surprised at all. I don't think it matters at all if either of them really believes what they say, they're out to convince the people who do believe that crap and like Obama either of their first priorities should they be 'elected' will be to continue the job of governing for the rich.
It's yet another reason to laugh at the idiocies produced from the flakiest nation on the planet. Like the poster above who thinks that by using a different word, that mean nearly the same thing, he/she is a heretic.
Thanks for the laugh Abby, with stories like Fukushima and Global Warming it's good to know that there is still something funny in the world.
The debate on evolution should be every bit as intellectually stimulating as the debate on the debt ceiling.
Not to defend Michelle Bachmann who is a far right wing loon not fit to be a congressperson let alone president of the US. But.....John Wayne's parents did live in Waterloo, Iowa, before moving to Winterset, Iowa, where John Wayne was born. John Wayne Gacy was born in Chicago and settled in Waterloo, Iowa, as a young man with his first wife. He did not live in Waterloo that long. It's the media that went batshit crazy, saying that Bachmann confused Gacy with the Duke. Maybe she got confused with the fact that John Wayne's parents did live in Waterloo, Iowa? The press made the leap of faith to Gacy. Again, Bachmann is a total jackass, we don't need to make up garbage about her when the actual facts are jaw-dropping enough.
I have to confess that I used to firmly accept as true, or at least valid, the rational, scientific theory of evolution: natural selection, genetic drift, the whole nine yards.
Nowadays, I'm not so sure.
As that epigraphical Henry Brooks Adams quote implies, I am more and more inclined to believe that this may be really more of a theory of devolution.
These days, devolution certainly seems appropriate. The quote from Henry Adams is a bit misleading though. Remember, when he was writing (in the 19th century) even scientists thought evolution involved progress. Herbert Spencer's mantra "survival of the fittest" was taken to mean "the best."
While most people think that we are the epitome of living beings, they should consider that tarantulas have been around for about 400 million years. Talk about being "fit."
The stupid level has been raised so high that the conservative crowd now makes at least a dozen completely nonsensical remarks nationally daily and no-one calls them out on it.
For myself, I don't believe in free-market theory. Not as a theory, but as a reality.
As usual corporate America has thrown their support at these two candidates not because of their stand on evolution or gays in the military, but because they both have passed the litmus test for being a corporate lackey in Washington. Both candidates believe in eliminating corporate taxes, loosening corporate regulations, continuing corporate welfare and corporate wars, declaring war against public servants (except soldiers of course!), building more private prisons and bankrupting any and all social programs designed to help the bottom 90% of the population.
As a result of choosing the 'right candidates', corporate America along with their obedient media empire will invariably end up with sociopaths, ignoramuses, weak kneed opportunists and an assortment of whackos running the show. There is no other way around it as any serious academic who researched the facts surrounding equity and social justice in America today will conclude that the status quo has to be thrown out with the bath water.
Peripheral issues such as evolution, prayer in public schools, abortion rights and even gays in the military (are there that many gays who are lining up to go to Iraq and Afghanistan these days?) will be played up by the media to avoid core issues like saving the planet, dismantling the empire, feeding and housing the poor, taxing the rich, providing universal healthcare and striving towards a more equitable and just society. The public is forced to focus on these peripheral topics to the detriment of the general public or at least giving equal time to an issue like Obama's birth certificate legitimacy and global warming for instance. When the media is approached by a non-corporate entity and asked why the political debates ignore topics such as ending the wars, taxing the rich and spreading the wealth, the media explains that 'in those areas the candidates are in general agreement'. Of course they are! If the candidate fails the corporate litmus test, then they are relegated to an inconspicuous political wilderness by the mainstream media for perpetuity leaving us with the shallow rhetoric and the manufactured cause celebre debates we have grown to expect.
I'm looking forward to a Bachmann/Perry ticket and presidency. They may be more trustworthy than the present resident of the White House. (They will certainly be more fun!) I have voted Democrat all my life. No longer. Obama has cured me of that disease. The Oligarchy is in charge and will choose the one(s) best suited to furthering its interests. Why give any candidacy legitimacy? Better to vote non-electorally by developing alternatives to the Free Market.
I'm so glad our politicians are solving the imminent evolution question. How about it, biologists!?! Any chance you will solve our Washington gridlock problem soon? What the heck are you scientists doing, over there, in your labs.
Check out history: when up becomes down, your society has turned totalitarianist. Mussolini got elected because he hated the Italian debt and promised austerity. He doubled the debt, and distracted Italians with wars against enemies of the state, internal (leftists) and external (Turkey, Ethiopia). Italy recovered, but it took 40 years. The path America is taking is pretty well-worn. America also will recover, and it'll also take 40 years. Thats a small price to pay to finally distinguish us from the apes.
The apes are doing their damndest to distance themselves from Homo Sap.
this is going to one fun election.
They will offer us idiots and we will have the same great choice we always have. We will clamor at the chance to elect Obama and thank our lucky stars we got the lesser of two evils and the beat goes on.