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Color-Coded Terrorism Alerts Fade to Black
Jay Leno has suggested that DHS should include plaid into its color scheme, for at least that would tell us that our country is under attack by Scotland.
Okay, boys and girls, pull out your crayons, and let's see if you can do a better job of coloring than the Department of Homeland Security.
At long last, the obvious has dawned on our national security czars. Since March 12, 2002, back in the Bush-Cheney regime, the chief connection that We the Masses have had to America's massive and secretive homeland protection program has been five colors: green, blue, yellow, orange, and red. That's been the full extent of our nation's terrorism alert system, which supposedly tells us how afraid to be at any given moment.
Finally, though, top DHS officials have conceded what the rest of us have known for years: Their color-coded warning scheme is a kindergarten-level joke that communicates nothing and protects no one.
Since 2006, the color hasn't changed: orange. Every day, in every airport, the orange "threat level" is announced in a doomsday voice every five minutes or so. It's useless information, so everyone tunes it out. Jay Leno has suggested that DHS should include plaid into its color scheme, for at least that would tell us that our country is under attack by Scotland.
So, DHS is giving up on its color code and is presently seeking a new public warning system that "provides specific, actionable information based on the latest intelligence." Intelligence? These are the people who missed clear clues about the 9/11 crash bombers, the shoe bomber, and the underwear bomber. So let's not count on their intelligence.
How about a series of sounds ranging from a ho-hum, not-to-worry sigh to a terrifying shriek of imminent doom? Or maybe just tell us when something bad is really about to happen--perhaps by shouting a blunt but useful message like, "Bend over and kiss your butt goodbye!" At least people would pay attention to that.
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27 Comments so far
Show AllA cop I once knew used to run to me to let me know when we were now under "orange alert." Somehow telling me this info made him feel better.
He was of the apocalyptic mindset that infects so many people in the US today. He was trying to get across to me that all of his suspected dangers were real. He was almost giddy that maybe this "trouble" all meant that soon god was going to take him and his family off to heaven.
He was one thousands who fell for the Bush fundamentalist psychology that kept the clown in office. Bush and his cronies were giving out warnings that in the minds of people like the cop were "rapture alerts."
Well he is still in this world and so am I. I bet he now believes Obama is the antichrist and expects to be whisked off into the sky naked as the day he was born.
I've been wondering what happened to this terrorist color code nonsense since it's been years since it had gotten any play in the press. I've long thought that Bush really missed a trick by not deliberately *lowering* the level shortly before the 2008 election after some suitable pretence (e.g. arresting some hapless schmuck who hadn't actually done anything other than talk to the wrong G-men.) Why not pretend that you've actually succeeded in making people safer?
The connection between "terror" alerts and the Rapture-Ready mindset had not occurred to me before. It makes sense. But if Obama really were the Anti-Christ wouldn't that mean that the Rapture had already happened? I'm not up on my batshit millenialist theology.
Keep in mind too that millenialist theology factors into the support for Israel with rightist groups like AIPAC. It is worth looking in to.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. Watch your neighbors. Watch for "suspicious activity." Turn your neighbors in to Homeland Security.
Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!
Sorry the plagerism was unintentional.I often have syncronous thoughts with other common dreamers.
peace
I plagiarized from "Lost In Space" before you did!! Guilty as charged!! grin...
HYSTERICAL
EXAGGERATED
FABRICATED
SPECIOUS
UNSUBSTANTIATED
...
BRILLIANT!
Elmo Alert....because you know it's dangerous out there on Sesame Street.....
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_98bDFG1gI78/TO7dk2xP2LI/
AAAAAAAAMiY/uD755AgEMHk/s1600/bigterror.jpg
Seen that one. I'd sure like to see one with Star Wars characters, with Jar Jar Binks in the green bar and Darth Maul in the red. The subtitle would be "The Phantom Menace".;)
I call on Congress to initiate a color-coded happiness system.
The highest level (flushed red, or whatever) would have to go to the folks who appear in television commercials. These folks should be our models for living in this free, extremely patriotic, and ever-so-goddamn-happy society.
Each country should come up with a color-coded system for determining how much of a threat the US is to their safety.
Iran would be red.
Israel would be green.
Etc.
A world map depicting all the colors would be nice although the term "Red Sea" comes to mind.
Internet! Make it so!
Paint it BLACK!
No more colors, I want it painted black
I see the girls go by in their summer clothes, and I want to f*** them now!
Uh-oh, Uncle Ho.
You've been prude-flagged! I THOUGHT I heard the sound of a sphincter creaking ever-more-tightly as I perused the comments.
And because of the specious flag, we're going to go into a state of hysteria.
Or something like that. Wanted to find a fabricated way of tying this remotely to the topic...:)
I'm just surprised/relieved they didn't use a red-orange-yellow-green-blue-violet code, in order to conflate terrorism with gay rights. Two birds with one stone.
Somehow, I get this strange feeling that just like the Internet, DHS will be moving to a two-tiered system of being either with them or against them. The "against them" list could be 50 stories high for all I know. For a weird reason, I feel like the public could be catching on the need to investigate 9/11 and find out just how much of an insider job it was. Someone argued with me calling me a "truther" stating that support was low but I'd rebuttal them back and show them that even great ideas that get majority support in the polls never get anywhere. As VashkarKim and Jill Baines would remind us, and I miss them both btw, 95% of the American people could vote on something great for us all and we'd still never come close to getting it.
"95% of the American people could vote on something great for us all and we'd still never come close to getting it."
max, I have to believe that is defeatist. When have 95% of the American people been united to vote on something great? But COULD they ... yes.
As to this article, UNDO THE PATRIOT ACT AND ABOLISH DHS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
More power to Jim Hightower!
AD
How about a scheme that reflects actual threats on our security?
Red Alert! They're coming for your Social Security!
Orange Alert! Your University system will be unaffordable for 90% of you!
Blue(s) Alert! We have to foreclose your home so Goldman, et al can have bigger bonuses.
Brown Alert! Our topsoil has been mostly washed away, and we're poisoning the rest.
Green Alert! We must fry the planet to service fossil fuel corporate greed!
Yellow alert! Your president is yellow.
Run for your lives, or get out in the streets and fight back.
Hysterical alert: Jim Hightower reminds us that if we lose our sense of humor, all is truly lost
Merry Christmas
It's amazing how many people bought into the take over of their country and how they happily gave up their rights and to live in a society designed by dictators like Stalin and Hitler. Look around you people this is not Jeffersonian democracy. The new war if you care is a war against domestic enemies in high places. You ask about the terror alert warnings. The warnings served their purposes. The economic conditions the country is experiencing is not a coincidence.
Dear DHS:
PLease take your rainbow colors and put them all together.
We would then have the " pure white light of reason." Please, blind us with that.
The sky is falling,the sky is falling.SKY IS FALLING ! Danger Danger DANGER Will Robinson.The British are coming ,OMG the Martians have landed.Holy shit Debbie we are out of pot,go ask the neighbors for a cup of Marijuana.
peace
Natural Wholesale soap loaves
The whole thing is a bunch of BS, plain and simple.
The alert crap was just part of the jingoism and paranoia fed to the people of the US with their ignorance an cowardliness and self- indulgent sense of entitlement and superiority and lapel buttons and bird shit infused flags on their cars, SUV's, and pickups and they sucked the slop up as if it were the finest caviar and they're finally realizing that it indeed taste like crap.
Wasn't it the genius of Tom Ridge, Former Gov of PA and Homeland Security chief that developed the brilliant color code scheme?
Erie, PA adores him and has even double named Erie International (which it is not-having not flown even near as Toronto for some time). You gets a choice of Detroit, Cleveland or Philly. Period) Erie aka Tom Ridge Field.
Wasn't it the genius of Tom Ridge, Former Gov of PA and Homeland Security chief that developed the brilliant color code scheme?
Erie, PA adores him and has even double named Erie International (which it is not-having not flown even near as Toronto for some time). You gets a choice of Detroit, Cleveland or Philly. Period) Erie aka Tom Ridge Field.