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Military Families Still Pay The Price
Do you know that a US serviceman or woman still is killed every other day in Iraq? That an Iraq War veteran takes his or her own life nearly every day?
The people I spent this weekend with in Washington, DC know these facts, up close and personal.
We are the members of Military Families Speak Out (www.MFSO.org). We keep “speaking out,” but it seems like no one is listening anymore. Our soldiers languishing in Iraq are forgotten amidst news of bailouts, economic stimulus packages, and talks of escalation in Afghanistan.
We came from across the US – from California, Oregon, Washington, Montana, Texas, Arkansas, Missouri, Louisiana, Alabama, Wisconsin, Illinois, Maryland, Virginia, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and other places I can’t recall.
We held a briefing downtown for the media and Congress. Practically no one came.
We walked in solemn procession from Arlington Cemetery to the White House, carrying flowers for all the Iraqi dead, US military casualties, and surviving veterans. No one came.
It wasn’t a protest or demonstration. It was a gathering. It felt more like a small church meeting than a political event. People told stories about their loved ones who served or are still serving in Iraq.
One man told of having to cut his son down from the rafters in their home where he hung himself to death, another victim of untreated PTSD. The night before his death, his son asked this man to hold him in his arms. The father rocked him in his lap. The next morning, he held his dead body on his lap. The government does not recognize them as a Gold Star family because their son did not die in the war.
Then there was the young veteran who told of having to photograph dead bodies every day as part of his job in military intelligence. He described what it felt like when he unearthed his first mass grave. Images that will remain seared in his consciousness for the rest of his life.
We listened to another young veteran who unsuccessfully tried to end his own life after he came home from the war. The army treated this as a criminal act, discharging him without honor from the service. After three tours in Iraq, he has no veterans benefits – no VA healthcare, no GI education, no disability. He was a highly decorated soldier, who advanced swiftly through the ranks. Now, he carries a service record that will prejudice him with prospective employers for the rest of his life.
The stories go on. More than I can bear. The sad reality remains. When the US goes to war these days, only the people in the military, and their families, pay the price. For everyone else, life goes on. We don’t even pay for our wars anymore. We just put them on the credit card for future generations.
The MFSO symbol is a yellow ribbon on a black peace sign. Do you remember when yellow ribbon decals and magnets sprouted everywhere throughout the land? If people have grown tired of this war, then let’s end it. No one would welcome that more than the military families who bear the lasting cost.
Meanwhile, if you want to show genuine support for the servicemen and women who we sent to fight this war (and others before it), perhaps the single most important thing you can do is to realize that PTSD is real, and to help our government, the media, and our neighbors understand that it is real.
Current estimates are that nearly 20% of Iraq War veterans are returning to us with PTSD. This is just as much a combat injury as if they came back missing a limb or wounded from a bullet or mortar. A veteran who commits suicide died from the war as much as one that lost their life from a roadside IED.
For those of us who are interested in ending war – this one in particular, and all war in general – there is no more powerful “argument” than to face the full cost of war. Besides the economy-crushing financial costs of war, the human cost to soldiers and civilian victims is nearly incalculable.
In fact these costs are so high that if we ever really faced up to them we would never go to war again. We would invest billions in searching for alternatives to war and consider it one of the best investments we ever made. Far better than the trillions we are now spending to prop up a handful of corporations.
Bill Scheurer is the Executive Director of Beyond War (www.BeyondWar.org), Editor of PeaceMajority Report (www.PeaceMajority.org), and the author of “us & them: bridging the chasm of faith”, a small book of interfaith inquiry.

58 Comments so far
Show AllThis is a wonderful article full of truth. Truth that hurts, but the reality of the true costs of war. War should always be the court of last resort and only cowards encourage it.
"The Ground Truth" is a DVD documentary based on a set of interviews with Iraq War veterans, all with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Most of them had encountered situations where they were involved directly or indirectly in killing innocent Iraqi non combatants.
Vietnam was our first experience with what can be called an assymetrical quagmire war. There are no front lines. It is mostly combat by ambush. You have a split second in many situations to pull the trigger despite the fact that ally and enemy generally look alike. Both Vietnam and Iraq Wars have been generally micro managed by deskwarriors in Washington DC. The potential of such wars is either no way to win and no way to get out short of defeat.
We owe it to our troops to NOT get involved in another quagmire war. People like Bush and Cheney that would invade a country with no compelling national security issue richly deserve impeachment as the best alternative.
MountainMike
Excellent comment.
MountainMike,
I can never forget the days of Vietnam. To tell you the truth, I used to love fighting for our country because that was the attitude back then when peaceniks were demonized. Unfortunately, it was only when I lost both my legs and an arm that I learned my lesson the hard way.
The troops owe it to themselves not to serve in Illegal wars.
Who FORCES them to fight and why is that concept of FORCING someone to fight part of what people call a free society?
One of the truths of the Indian tribes of North America is that no Chief could ORDER his warriors to fight. The warriors had to be convinced it was the right thing to do. If they did not agree with what the Chief was advocating, they simply stayed home. If they decided to stay home and not go on a raid they were not arrested or imprisoned.
Which model has more "freedom" ?
How can servitude to the state be called "freedom"? How does being forced to kill some one in Afghanistan or Vietnam make a soicety and its people more "free" ?
"Who FORCES them to fight and why is that concept of FORCING someone to fight part of what people call a free society?"
An army couldn't function unless troops obeyed orders. By disobeying they could be putting their fellow soldiers lives at risk. Every army in history has functioned like this for a reason.
That's why it's so important not to blame the troops even if you disagree with what they are fighting for. They have no choice. Blame their leaders. Blame Nixon for Vietnam and Bush for Iraq. But don't blame the mostly poor young men and women who saw the military as an opportunity to better themselves.
Sioux Rose
GW NORTH: Interesting post.
The very PREMISE of the word ENEMY, particularly with respect to this conflict staged on false pretenses, MUST be thoroughly examined. We are not fighting an enemy in either Afghanistan or Iraq, although Bush's war has certainly stirred a hornet's nest where NOW there are those who would be enemies to this nation. How can senseless violence beget anything other than same? It is a vicious cycle that results in NO winners... the Monty Python dark satire of a politics utterly based on Mars rules applications.
Bush and Cheney are out of office--they can't be impeached. The only solution is to prosecute them for war crimes although it'll never happen.
War is about profits; dead soldiers cost you a funeral with a flag, some trinkets and that's it. Whereas a wounded soldier is a wild card; taking care of his/her needs might run into millions in the long run. I wonder if someone in a board-room hasn't brought up killing the wounded off in Iraq: so cost-effective.
here's a concept: take away the signing bonuses, the fat retirement checks, the px, the commissary, the health/dental/medical benefits after retirement, etc and soforth.
and then let's see how many young and gullible people sign up to kill strangers in foreign lands.
I can tell you approximately how long you would last if you adopted that policy. Not long.
If the MSM would show us the blood and gore, wars would end. They profit from wars and don't want them to end.
Sioux Rose
EZE: I was thinking about all the "clinics" in California that prescribe marijuana for a variety of symptoms.
IF on a massive scale millions of us claimed SICK OF WAR disease, for which the ultimate PEACE PLANT is the "cure," what message might that send? All those Nixon throwbacks hated when us 60's kids smoked pot on the LAWN of the White House. I am so glad I was there for those peace marches, burning effigies of Nixon, who so like the old god Chronos from myth, sought to EAT his own children. In Nixon's case, to gun down the youth that would replace him as per the order given to shoot at war protesters at Kent State. A friend of mine was there and attends an annual reunion where together participants remember what actually took place.
Any who trust "their government" have certainly learned little from history. Why would American leaders be given the gene of immunity to that which is a major flaw in human nature when absolute power is given access to absolutely corrupt?
From Bill Scheurer: "We are the members of Military Families Speak Out. We keep "speaking out," but it seems like no one is listening anymore."
The real shame is that your sons and daughters didn't listen to you. But then, I'm assuming that you told them not to join with the American Empire in its quest to dominate the world's peoples and their resources.
As these imperialist wars have been going on for 8 years now, I would have thought that young people - with the support of their families - would not be choosing to join. But they still do. Why? Can a military family answer that for me?
I don't want to hear about spreading freedom and democracy, or fighting the bogus war on terror. Why a young person would be so gullible is beyond my comprehension. It's the same as someone joining some weird, religious cult (think Jim Jones). The ones who are somehow able to leave have messed-up minds. I'm not surprised.
Try supporting these kids with the knowledge they need BEFORE they join.
"If people have grown tired of this war, then let's end it. No one would welcome that more than the military families who bear the lasting cost."
We will only stop these wars of aggression by stopping to support them - in all ways, shapes and forms. And that includes, I'm sorry to inform you, NOT supporting the Empire's troops!
Then we can be sure you don't support these kids and their peoblems. Good to know.
Many thousands of civilian deaths in Afghanistan, and hundred of thousands of civilian deaths in Iraq were (and are) DIRECTLY CAUSED by the Empire's VOLUNTEER troops.
I do not support heavily-armed gangs of thugs invading foreign countries (and under false pretenses, yet!) - causing death and destruction to its people on a massive scale - no matter what country those thugs come from.
These imperialist wars will only end when we stop ALL SUPPORT for them.
Speaking of the young, my nephew is a perfect example of what you stated. It's too bad my nephew who grew up in a bad macho environment learning to love video games of shooting and galore. He joined the Marines even when his parents and myself tried to tell him the lessons I learned from Vietnam. He replied "Oh shut up uncle. The military is stronger and better than ever thanks to Reagan. You should be proud that I'm gonna be a fighting Marine ! Once a Marine always a Marine, senior veteran !" He died in 2003 in Afghanistan. His wife could never get over it. She used to think that her husband's brother was too much of a softie but later admired him. They're now engaged but still can't afford to pay for getting married since one's unemployed while the other is in temporary contract position. I could only imagine how shattered her life would be without a peace-loving back up who'd eventually fall in love with her.
Sioux Rose
JWVEREZ: What you describe is the insidious indoctrination to what I term MARS RULES. All this hero worship of macho force that's practically raised to a level of idolatry with respect to football, the all-American "religion." Competition, dog eat dog job markets, "you're number 1!," and Hollywood's worship of gunplay in films... these illusions create a hero-worship of militarism, and many young men, who have not yet been initiated into manhood, believe the military's slick advertising campaigns about becoming a man, as if to be a man, means to use a gun on some poor slob who likely is UNARMED. It's all a sham... and to break through the layers of facade almost requires something akin to deprogramming on a massive scale. ANY attempts to invest in Venus (peace-making, the arts, creative engagement, negotiated agreements, lovemaking) help to send power back towards the cosmic counterpart to this dangerous asymmetric focus on death, violence, aggression and destruction.
My best argument to assert that Mars rules is the amount of US funds that go to war, militarism and building/designing "the next generation" of weapons systems. IF this nation gave a DAMN about life, we'd see investment in arts, music, peacemaking, social skills, and CAREGIVING...
A fellow named Mark Gerzon wrote a book a couple decades ago called A CHOICE OF HEROS in which he proposed and urged alternatives to the macho model. I haven't read it in a long time, and it's missing from my library (probably lent it out and forgot to get it back), so I don't know if it's outdated by now. At the time, I was impressed.
Hi SiouxRose and JW Verez: last nite I went to see the movie "Milk". Before the movie started, they played this despicable ad with Kid Rock singing some military death cult worship song for the US National Guard. It made me sick. The lyrics almost reminded me of Joe Hope's despicable posts on this topic.
How dare you!
Oppose the war but not the troops.
They would die for your right to insult them.
They protect your freedom to be a jerk.
These people are heroes.
Oh shut the fuck up ! You never served and you know nothing about the hell these poor souls go through because they're lied to and brainwashed into joining. Hell, they even train these kids ways to speak against their own parents just like some kids associated with folks in the Marines trained my nephew to speak against his parents and me and then join the god damn Marines only to die in Afghanistan in 2003 ! Why don't you shut the fuck up and join the god damn Marines and see what hell is like and then come back, bloody idiot !!
Please, will you calm down? I agree that it was dumb to send the troops to Iraq (when they should have gone to Afghanistan). But I still support them and I am proud of their service. After all, they have no choice but to follow orders. It's shameful that their sacrifice is not given the respect it deserves.
"folks in the Marines trained my nephew to speak against his parents and me and then join the god damn Marines only to die in Afghanistan in 2003"
I am sorry for your loss. But I respect your nephew's choice to serve his country. As a marine, I'm sure he understood the risk he was taking. On 911, we were attacked by Afghanistan, so at least he died defending his country instead on in the quagmire of Iraq. Perhaps there are better ways to honor his memory than by insulting his service.
"On 911, we were attacked by Afghanistan, so at least he died defending his country instead on in the quagmire of Iraq."
The hijackers were from Saudi Arabia and were related to the elites. Afghanistan didn't do it ! Attacking Afghanistan was WRONG WRONG WRONG ! And don't talk to me about the Taliban. Your CIA is responsible for putting them there in the first place and yeah, they didn't do it overnight.
"Perhaps there are better ways to honor his memory"
Yeah, ABOLISH THE CIA !
I'm not responsible for the actions of the CIA.
Plus the ISI founded the Taliban not the CIA.
But to say the Taliban wasn't responsible for 911 is absurd.
And yes, Saudi Arabia is also a problem.
"But to say the Taliban wasn't responsible for 911 is absurd." Joehope, your statement is absurd.
"Perhaps there are better ways to honor his memory than by insulting his service."
Joehope, I second JWVerez's advice to you. How you could come up with something so ghoulish is beyond comprehension. How dare you lecture a person like JWVerez about sacrifice. Your words mean nothing. So please, stop wasting your time and our time with your death cult worshiping posts, ok?
I likewise hold little respect these days for those who shoot children or bomb wedding parties in other countries. Blasting a couple tribal nations to the stone age is not heroism. Many people are brainwashed to think the only way to serve our country is by killing others. I remember a poll conducted a year or two ago, that showed a huge majority of troops in Iraq thought Saddam was responsible for 9-11! Many of them are completely brainwashed and think they're doing the right thing. I pity them for the most part...I would prefer to tell a veteran of Iraq that I'm sorry he had to go through what he did than thank him for his service. And I have gotten vehement reactions like yours too...and that was just from saying McCain was not a war hero, but a shitty pilot who got shot down while bombing civilians and he should be thankful he survived.
"I would prefer to tell a veteran of Iraq that I'm sorry he had to go through what he did than thank him for his service."
Just say both. Aren't you at least thankful that Saddam is gone?
Yes, but not thankful that up to more than a million Iraqis died just for that. He himself didn't kill that many of his own people.
Sioux Rose
ZMANN: Very true and so tragic, too. And the churches in the south (Bible belt) have played a HUGE role in promoting these deceptions, along with the spiritually diabolical fiction of End Times.
At the local Winn Dixie supermarket there was a pretty young girl as a cashier boldly displaying a gold cross about her neck. One day while she was packing my bags she said she was leaving for Iraq soon. I couldn't believe she had joined the military, and she went into a short diatribe on the importance of serving her country by fighting for our freedoms. I also saw a van in Gainesville filled with military personnel and it had some slogan to that effect on a sticker on its rear end. It's so disconcerting that even with the modern onset of public education, persons do not recognize the same wolf in the new sheep's apparel. It has to have the label "communist" on it, or "terrorist" for them to take notice. They do NOT see the BEAST in their own midst or making.
The troops volunteered.
The do it for the money.
If they weren't paid,
they wouldn't do it.
If they were drafted,
they would deserve my respect.
Because they volunteered,
they are mercenaries.
They're not heroes.
They're people with jobs.
They do what they're told,
or they're put in jail.
Why should I respect that?
Because they would die for your freedom.
Enlist, Joe. Go to Afghanistan...
Joe. Get back to us all after you've enlisted and fought in Afghanistan on Obama's behalf. Until then, stop the jingoist blather. You're making a fool of yourself. (I have found that when veterans speak, it's best to really take the time to think about what they've said, then consider carefully whether or not you have suitable experience to respond. They deserve more respect than you have shown them here. I can't believe you said JWVerez denigrated his nephew's service when he was exposing the Judas goats--recruiters--who sold his nephew sweet lies.)
I've been wondering why people join the military since Viet Nam. I would guess for most people, it's for economic reasons but it still baffles me.
I can explain that. To tell you the truth, I used to love fighting for our country because that was the attitude back then when peaceniks were demonized. See, my parents and I entered the country legally in 1965 from Mexico. Some racist neighbor it seems talked them into convincing me to sign up and join the army even though I was still an immigrant. But it seems that back then, Hispanics could join but if they died, their death was not tallied. Yes, my parents were trying to make a living and I used to have fun dreaming of being a soldier. I'll admit that my girlfriend, later my wife, had mixed feelings about this but accepted. Unfortunately, it was only when I lost both my legs and an arm that I learned my lesson the hard way. I was even ready to commit suicide by my parents and her parents stopped me from it and I regret that I caused them severe pain, sufferings, and even near-bankruptcy for my past actions. I tell you, it's gonna get worse before anything turns around and if Obama succeeds in dragging more troops and contractors into Afghanistan, Pakistan, and even Iran, Vietnam will look like a picnic.
I'm truly sorry for what you and your family have gone through in the name of "patriotism." I still don't understand why people continue joining the military, after the way the government used and abused you guys in Viet Nam. My husband says they're young and dumb and full of come.
My son and son-in-law went mad and joined the military after they gave up seeking employment. Both lost their lives in Iraq. These young boys just thought that fighting in wars would somehow make them manly enough. My daughter tried to help them get back their employment and even helped them tweak their resumes and answer interview questions even better but in the end they gave up and thought that somehow joining would make them more manly enough that they would end up getting employed without having to go through an interview. We tried to stop that madness and my husband even tried to discipline them but it was no use. They were too headstrong and even teamed up and shouted at my husband telling them that they weren't little boys and even blamed us for their unemployment status. It was first a debate turned into a shouting match for an hour and a half and only getting louder to the point that they were even about to get into a fist fight. I stopped them by threatening to call the police. I had never ever seen them act so angry and crazy like this in my entire life ! After they left, they only spoke to us once and apologized deeply and that was 2 years later. I forgave them. Two weeks after that, my son lost his life in the battlefield and then the week after my son-in-law lost his life as well. Maybe my husband and I are at fault since we were unable to convince them that we're not treating them as children but trying to help them out in life. I don't know. :(
You're not alone. I've seen young people throughout my state give up any hope of finding even a minimum wage job and the longer they're unemployed the more desperate they are to join. The neoliberals and neoconservatives have teamed up to screw us all like that. I don't know how many more troops Obama will push into Afghanistan and Pakistan but if the wars escalate, we're going to be witnessing more tragedies of children defying their parents and running away to join the military thinking that it will solve their problems when in fact it won't. Serving in the military can be an honor but it has its limits too. And as some have pointed out, there are more contractors than troops in Iraq. The military is privatized which means less well-trained soldiers and more mournings to come.
Terrance Mitchell
Redfield, South Dakota
My sincere condolences to you. You did the best you could, so don't feel that you are to blame. It's the entire whacked system that offers so little opportunity to young people and makes them feel they have to be "manly" to be accepted. I'm so sorry for your loss.
What was wrong with the Gulf War, Kosovo, or Somalia? Don't you feel we were on the right side in those conflicts?
What about stabilizing Afghanistan? Or our current efforts in Iraq to mount an orderly withdrawal?
It's Bush and Rumsfeld who should be ashamed of themselves, not the men and women of our armed forces. We have a whole generation of troops returning from combat, how will we choose to welcome them? By thanking them? Or by accusing them of committing war crimes?
There are no "baby-killers" in the US military. Let's not repeat the divisiveness of the Sixties. It's important to separate our feelings about how we feel about the war from how we feel about the people who have no choice but to fight it.
Sioux Rose
MAGARULIAN: Your post reflects what I think and feel. It IS a shame that there are few job options, but deciding to go to a land that did NOTHING to America to kill its citizens in order to "make a living" is a Faustian bargain at best.
I remember having a similar discussion with a nice-looking young man I befriended in Puerto Rico who told me he HAD to become a prostitute, to pay his bills. I reminded him there was ALWAYS OTHER work. Sometimes we create it. The razzle dazzle of a consumer-driven media that makes people lust after unimportant opbjects of status has a lot to do with the "purchasing of souls." Too many don't recognize a more fundamental basis for identity than ownership of these transitory, generally worthless objects. Indeed, their worth is further compromised when they are purchased with the blood ($) of others.
Why was MFSO not joined by WRL, CCCO in coalition?
The Quakers have counter-recruitment groups all over the country
http://www.afsc.org/Youth&Militarism/
There are waves of counter-recruitment efforts. I'd encourage you to contact them and network in counter-recruitment.
We live in a PTSD nation. Think about it...each generation has had its wars. Ours is the first that has even had the LANGUAGE to talk about the psychic effects - which are now affects.
Teaching the young on all points of peaceful options is where our energy is well used.
I was in a military marriage that saw an emotional breakdown and AWOL life underground. No help, no knowledge of CO counseling among the Society of Friends. And those counselors at WRL and CCCO.
Our strength is only in nipping it in the bud. My heart goes out to all MFSO and other families. Thank you for holding the stand. You might not see a lot of response, but please never underestimate the value of speaking out.
http://www.vvaw.org/commentary/?id=687
following the link in the article to VVAW - The Horror of War can be Catnip for Young Men by Jerry Lembecke
These voices and experiences provide insight. It isn't just about war its about the same paradigm that divides and conquers despoiling the earth.
many of these people are clueless and are only looking for a way out of their poverty-stricken misery. take away the bonuses, the benefits, the glorified mic tv commercials and in their place show us the flag-draped coffins arriving back home in the secrecy of the dark. show us the deformed babies being born due to chemically laced weaponry. show us the grieving families as they lay their sons and daughters six feet down. show us the innocents being killed for no other reason than a testosterone induced soldier bent on just pulling the trigger.
joehopeless, no one here is jerking or insulting. many of us oppose those who support senseless wars (most all are). i suggest you relocate your dictionary for the definition of hero. granted, there are some in our military who might fall into the hero category, but there are many (all who kill innocents to support the cause as well as those participating in the asinine concept of "friendly fire) who are nothing more than mere cowards.
Thank you for a powerful piece on just one aspect of the devastating impact of the war. On the sixth anniversary of the invasion of Iraq people will come together to March on the Pentagon to oppose the occupations in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Palestine. For more information on the March 21 March on the Pentagon, visit http://www.PentagonMarch.org
I'll admit that even a lot of us such as myself who survived Vietnam have costs our loved ones dearly. I wished I had listened to my wife's mixed feelings before joining and not allowed others to exploit my "fighting can be cool" bullshit. Worse than even losing my limbs, my long term thoughts of committing suicide turned out to be a financial and mental drain on my parents, my wife and her parents as they struggled to pull me out of my madness.
Unfortunately, one of my dear nephews grew up in a macho environment and got into shooting galore video games and with tricks to defy our parents and even myself, he joined the Marines only to die in Afghanistan in 2003. His wife was lucky to fall in love with his peace-loving brother which she used to not take seriously. They're engaged but since she's unemployed and he's on temporary contract jobs, they don't have hopes that they'll be able to afford a marriage or leave their parent's home.
Sorry for your loss.
And it costs less than $50 to get married and they could always live at home. Not the american dream but at least they'll be together.
A very touching piece Mr. Scheurer.
It seems the american people have lost their soul.
Lord knows they lost their moral compass some time ago.