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There's No Place Like Home for The Holidays, Until There is No Home
A little box arrived from Chicago last week to my temporary digs here in Washington, DC. Inside were some of the trinkets of Christmases long past. Ornaments that used to hang on trees surrounded by mounds of gifts, plush Mickey Mouse stockings I used to fill with fruit and candy and little toys when my sons were younger, and a candle holder - absent the candle, of course, which had long since been burned on a holiday table brimming with food and with good cheer.
The box holds what is left of those middle class holiday memories. The box has become the only link to a home-for-the-holidays Christmas I can never again share with my children or my grandchildren. You see, like millions of other Americans, we lost our home. And with that loss goes not only the physical security of home and hearth but also the generational ties to stability and security and the sense of well-being that come with being home... with having a home to come to and a home in which to frame the happenings of our lives. We are the new economic refugees of this society. And no bail-outs are pending.
Who among us has not spent a time longing for the comforts of home? And that universal longing has little to do with square footage or amenities and much more to do with a place of comfort and clarity and sameness and steadiness that helps soften the twists and turns of life that we all must experience. But for those of us who become unwilling nomads with no permanent place to stash our stuff, home became a more elusive place - and not really a physical place at all, but a feeling, a memory, a fleeting image of happier days gone by.
Americans now losing their homes to the mortgage crisis and the millions more, like us, who have fallen prey to the healthcare crisis in this nation are losing far more than just an address or an extra bedroom or a driveway or a lifestyle. We are losing the boundaries of our lives - those intimate details of everyday living that make home a safe place to land and place to retreat when daily pressures are too great and - most vivid during this season - a place where our children and grandchildren can return for generational sharing and all the ups and downs that brings to a family.
One of the most heart-breaking losses we've felt in recent years as we tried in vain to cling to some semblance of middle class reality as health crises crushed us is the loss of holidays, the loss of traditions, the loss of intimacy and the loss of respect from our own children who see no home to come to - and no reason to interrupt more exciting holiday pursuits when we can no longer play host to any sort of Smith family soiree with the same sort of meaning.
Oh, folks will try to say that home is wherever the people you love are gathered, but don't believe it. Our lack of financial stability and the lack of that home in which to gather have damaged far more than just the edges of our lives. When pushed, the grown kids say they don't come to visit because we're not grounded - "There isn't exactly a place where we all grew up and you kept to come home to, is there?" asked one of our sons. No, son, there isn't. So, this year, like the past few years, he'll gather his children (our beautiful grandchildren) and take them to another state and another grandma's house that sits on land that the family has owned for many years and to a home with a whole basement converted to play space that holds literally thousands of dollars worth of toys. No, son, I cannot offer that.
I can offer the little toy box I faithfully move from apartment to apartment and a place at my feet to play. I can offer love beyond what I could explain. But I cannot offer stability of place and the home I so hoped to have until I died - or at least until I could no longer handle the physical constraints of home ownership. But the things I have left to own are not things, and our culture thrives on the ownership of things. So, I am the grandma without enough. And my wonderful husband, the man who gave his body and being to creating a home for us for so many years, is now the grumpy grandpa without enough stuff and without a house.
This is what millions of Americans now losing their homes and their jobs are going to go through all too soon. The unbending cruelty of judgment that comes from having lost one's home in the United States - or worse yet, having gone bankrupt in America.
You see, say what you will about forgiveness and love and peace on earth, but we Americans judge one another by our stuff and our attainment of things. Those who don't have a lot must not have wanted it badly enough, we think, or we didn't work smartly enough. And those who attain homeownership and then lose homes or go bankrupt just managed poorly, lived beyond their means, didn't tighten the belt enough... on and on and on we go with our judgments. I just heard it again this week on a mainstream media news program... people who go bankrupt, they mused, are gaming the system somehow and need to learn to behave better. Going bankrupt was viewed as sinful and irresponsible. These old and ugly views are part of our middle class DNA. I know, because I was taught the same way.
But then the bottom falls out. Health insurance leaves you bare to huge financial burdens. Job loss strips your ability to have enough cash coming in to covers the basics, savings dries up, all the bartering and begging to stay afloat begins to give way, and the wealth it took years to build is gone overnight.
And with that wealth goes a great deal more in personal costs. Some relationships are damaged beyond repair while others are twisted and tinged with guilt, shame or anger. And the holidays are packed away in little boxes of trinkets where peace on earth and joy to the world still can dwell, if but for an instant.
Home for the holidays? Never again. It takes years to recover from bankruptcy or foreclosure and for some of us, there are not enough working years left to do so; the big banking interests we just helped bail out will view us as too risky for a very long time. And our government will not challenge that reality. The best we economic refugees can hope for is that we can hang on to that little box of ornaments, stockings and candleholders as we move from lease to lease to lease making sure our rent is paid and we are warm. There really is no place like home for the holidays, and for many Americans, that Norman Rockwell sort of holiday setting will never again be possible.
When home is no longer home for so many, the generational and cultural foundations are crumbling in ways that will forever alter our national being. The ground truly is shifting beneath our feet as 2009 dawns. And this year, home is even more elusive for many. For some of us, it's carried in a little box.
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Show All>>When home is no longer home for so many, the generational and cultural foundations are crumbling in ways that will forever alter our national being. The ground truly is shifting beneath our feet as 2009 dawns. And this year, home is even more elusive for many. For some of us, it's carried in a little box.
In Vancouver a few days ago a 47 year old homeless woman died when the shelter she had built for herself caught fire as she was lighting candles to keep warm.
It was one of the colder nights of the year. The police had come to her a number of times offering to take her to a shelter and she refused. A number of people from the shelters in the region had implored her to come inside and she would not.
The problem was that all of her possesions were in a small shopping cart that she pushed around with her and for whatever reasons, the shelters can not allow in these carts or peoples pets. (Tragically they were at work constructing shelters that would allow pets and shopping carts and the first one opened the very next day)
She died by burning when the candles she had lit to keep warm set the tarp and shelter ablaze . She used a lighter the cop had leant her.
And maybe in her cart were some of the things that grounded her somehow. It seems so silly to feel so attached to small things. But sometimes that's all people have left.
Donna Smith, American SiCKO
In Appalachia, http://www.wisecountyissues.com we are loosing our home to Greed.
So many becoming homeless every day, and empty houses all around - "Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink!" Welcome to the new america.
There was a story here on CD a few weeks ago about this guy in Miami who broke into abandoned or foreclosed homes so homeless people could live there...sounds like something that needs to be done all over, since Miami isn't exactly inhospitable outside during winter.
we wil quickly begin to see multi-generational living under a single roof here in America becoming more and more common, which should start to change the subjective 'superiority' associated with ownership, hopefully replacing it with the respect due responsible living of any kind...there are a number of industries who have marketed, very successfully, the false notion of success as measured by acquisition...many long-passed-on, and, therefore, long-held, beliefs about life's purpose and human social development will need to be dissected, with many being tossed out and replaced with more realistic ones...the mindset behind development must be purged...
Sioux Rose
DUBET: Yesterday (I believe) NATIVE SON posted a description of life within the tribe and how cooperation and working together were a given. It is that sort of thing America must learn from those it once laid siege to. And of course, it would be a natural outcome if and when your prediction of more communal sorts of living arrangements comes to pass. (I believe you are correct there.)
Sioux Rose
Poignantly written article. I have a modest home, but my children grew up in the 80's, the epoch of greed, and don't understand conservation or frugality, they think these are quaint post-hippie notions. So one daughter doesn't even want to visit my place! Meanwhile, as I watch her live beyond her means, young enough to eventually mend her efforts, I have "room at the inn" if the economy her corporate job rests upon further implodes.
What's even more disheartening about this article is the fact that an embarassment of riches was just lavished on the bankers who helped orchestrate the fiscal implosion now moving like an earthquake in slow motion across the land. That these bastards are still giving each other massive bonuses and paying for lush junkets is a sin against nature, particularly when we think of all those their jumbled numbers made homeless. Cheney should be the poster child for this decade, for ours is indeed a HEARTless nation, at least on the part of policy makers.
.An eloquent response to match an equally elegantly written article. Thanks Ms. Rose.
We have all (well most) been brainwashed to believe ultimate happiness can be purchased with credit cards. That one will never be truly happy doing so, that one becomes a profit center for those who benefit so much from a culture and a system that ruins lives and , ultimately, threatens the world itself, may very well be the greatest tragedy of our time.
.
We see things, not as they are, but as we are.
Anais Nin
Sioux Rose
ARDEE: Fate cast us as accomplices in our defense against a certain someone. Nonetheless, I appreciate your intelligent postings and virtual friendship, and wish you warm holidays in these cold cold times.
.Thank you and the very same good wishes to you and yours. We will, I have absolutely no doubt, triumph at last. Perhaps not in our lifetimes but we will conquer hatred and greed.
.
We see things, not as they are, but as we are.
Anais Nin
Dear Rose - I think your children may come to embrace your ways. The hard times to come may propel them back to you, spiritually or even physically.
One of mine, who always ridiculed my "commie" notions, has been telling me over and over recently that he sees I was right, and if anything I did not describe the corrosive greed and lack of ethics of Wall Street in strong enough terms. Our very modest apartment will soon be a stopping place for one of my married children as he and his wife are making changes in their lives from corporate work to some kind of community service. The change would be much more difficult if they could not live rent-free for a while.
In any case, it makes me happy to be able to provide a refuge and a place of love that they can always turn to if they need it. Same goes for some of our friends.
Joe
The for profit health insurance industry is draining this country dry of it's finest resource...WE THE PEOPLE.
It is baffling to me how any sane person would argue that their existence is a good thing? For profit health care should be universally despised IMO. It destroys fine people's lives, as per your heartfelt and bittersweet essay, and literally kills them by denying and delaying treatment.
They want to make it illegal for you to not have it and penalize you if you don't...What are we...Cars?!
From the Boston Globe...
Penalties for uninsured to rise next year
"The maximum penalty for 2009 for an uninsured adult who is 27 or older and makes at least $31,212 annually will be $89 a month, for a total of $1,068 for an entire year of noncompliance. That is $156 more than the top penalty for this year.
By law, the penalty is tied to the cost of insurance, and insurance premiums are increasing because of rising health costs and a state requirement that insurance plans include prescription coverage in 2009. "
To model our country's health care plan after this one is a huge mistake.
Thank you for your post and I wish you a peaceful holiday.
"...And those who attain homeownership and then lose homes or go bankrupt just managed poorly, lived beyond their means, didn't tighten the belt enough... on and on and on we go with our judgments."
That's pretty much what my sister and her husband told me last month when I visited back east for Thanksgiving. It came in response to my mentioning something I'd recently heard on the radio:
http://www.radioboston.org/stories/2008/11/20/toms-story/
Specifically she accused the guy of probably buying a "fancy" car.
Like so many--my sister and her husband are good people struggling to make ends meet--working two jobs. But they're firmly ensconced in the kind of myth of individual responsibility that's such a part of today's market-mindset.
It's like they and everyone else are in a cult.
On the way to the airport for my flight back, my sister stopped at the bookstore while I waited in the car. She picked up "The Secret"--which she's already read--just for me. She even got it wrapped, dear God.
And now she's reading Rick Warren's "purpose" book.
For my part, I tried to explain the role the 72 trillion dollar shadow CDS market has played in the financial crisis as well as get her to watch "Critical Condition" when it aired back in October. Not much luck there, but she does wear the Nader shirt I gave her! And in January I'll ask her to call Kennedy's office and her local rep regarding single-payer.
All said, it ain't easy but you have to lov'em anyway.
"Good times are coming...but they sure are coming slow." -Neil Young
Not to be judgmental, as surely every bankruptcy and foreclosure situation is different. But it's true, that many of us have been living beyond our means for many years, even decades now. Credit is too easy to get, much harder to pay back.
I don't want to sound like a know-it-all or an I-told-you-so kinda guy, BUT... I saw this coming. For me, personally I made up my mind in my early 20's that I would not use credit cards and would not borrow money. I also decided I would never buy a house, nor pay rent, nor ever buy a new car.
So what did I do? I did all the above, except buy the house. But I saw the trap I was setting for myself, so I payed off that credit card and by my 30th birthday I was debt free. I've been living within my means ever since.
Now I'm in my late 40's living simply in a log cabin, with no mortgage. Lucky? Just smart I guess. Not that smart, really, I just don't like to enrich people that are rich already. Every time I get a credit card offer, I use it for fire starter.
I see a way out of this crises, but we can't repeat the mistakes from the past. What worked before no longer applies. I see a future in communal living and living within our means. Living on credit is based on a lot of supposition and fantasy. Time to wake up and get real America!
I think living in a log cabin or communal living--while great for people who prefer it--is just circumventing the problem. That is, the problem isn't so much "living within our means" as you say.
The problem involves the inequality of income distribution.
It's about people being able to maintain a livelihood--to actually hold a job that affords material well-being.
Hey Greg, I hear ya. See my comment to Donna above.
It's also about not throwing your money away. It's about being willing to cut corners and tighten your belt. It's about not being afraid to live within your income bracket. It's about sacrifice. It's about ingenuity. It's about entrepreneurship. It's about a shift in awareness and consciousness.
For me, living in a tent is preferable to an apartment if you have to pay some wealthy landlord a thousand or more dollars per month. And who needs cable television? Who need a new car, or a car at all? Who needs to be strapped paying bills for frivolous luxuries?
Yes, there is inequality in income distribution. It's criminal that CEO's are making 400 times more than their entry-level employees. But it's easier to change yourself than to change someone else. Revolution begins at home, er in your heart.
Hey doggy,
Yeah, anything real is gonna begin in your heart... but that's only the half of it.
You concede there is inequality in income distribution--might as well add to that inequality in healthcare distribution too!
So clearly, and as Donna's note to you points out, "being willing to cut corners and tighten your belt" is not going to help.
That approach is only another manifestation of today's culture to turn inward--to feed off whatever feelings of superiority and resentment that can be squeezed out of a false sense of responsibility.
Yo Greg,
As you say "as Donna's note to you points out, "being willing to cut corners and tighten your belt" is not going to help." I concede that yes, that may be true in the big picture, to some degree, but it has helped us on our path.
And I concede that yes, there is a huge and ugly inequality in health care. It has forced us (my family) to back away from being major participants in the system, and forced us to "go it alone" which is an attitude that so many Republicans admire and espouse.
As The Canadian gentleman observed, us gringos are afraid of socialism. We are afraid it'll make our taxes go up. Here's another quote from Neil Young, "How do you pay for war and leave us dyin' - when you could do so much more, you're not even tryin'!"
It's evident to me it's the insurance companies and the drug companies that are the root of the problem. That's why I refuse to support either one. Risky? Maybe, but my conscience is clear.
I sure hope we get universal single-payer health care in this country before I get old!
I really appreciate this thread... thank you both for commenting so thoughtfully. T
I learn so much more that I don't yet know.
I just believe we can be better to one another in so many ways. Community. Healthcare. It all matters.
Donna Smith, American SiCKO
Hi Donna,
Thanks, and thanks for this excellent article. My response could and should have been more compassionate. I've been thinking about this the past few days, how fortunate we are to have a roof over our heads. My good friend in Seattle rents out a tiny office to live in, and gives what he has left over to homeless people. He regularly gives out 5 and 10 dollar bills, food and blankets. It would be a bad winter to be homeless, especially up north here.
We have much to be thankful for and little to complain about. I'm truly sorry you are experiencing hardship. I'm sure it will all work out. Think positive. If you haven't already read it, I recommend a book by Ekhart Tolle called A New Earth, or it's prequel, The Power of Now.
May peace, happiness, health and prosperity be yours! Moondoggy
Moondoggy,
The difference between you and yours and the family with the corporate lifestyle is if/when you get cancer or some other serious illness, you'll die sooner and still go bankrupt.
I hope your luck holds out.
Because if I get cancer in my position (46, owner of a used bookstore, no insurance) my only really logical choice is to stare down the barrel of a .12 gauge. That way I leave at least something to my sons.
Yo Kegbot1,
What a sad, fatalistic attitude! Surely there are better options than that. That is not a logical choice at all! And what would you leave to your sons? For one, a huge mess to clean up all over the walls behind what used to be your face. And something much more odious would be the stain of that horrible choice you made for yourself upon their minds and hearts. They would carry that horrible feeling in the pit of their stomachs for the rest of their lives. They would have nightmares. Nothing you could leave behind for them could possibly make up for their loss and grief. And not only your sons, but everyone else who knows you, including all your customers.
You need to have a better plan than that. Where's your faith? The choices we make for ourselves have more to do with skill and less with luck. When one door closes, another one opens. Is the glass half full or half empty?
Are you worried about getting cancer? It could happen to any of us, whether we're living the corporate lifestyle or like me the lifestyle of an artisan/organic gardener. We all must face changes, but do we see it as crises or opportunity? And how much are we responsible for our fate? We make choices every day that affect our future well being.
I made many changes early on that have enriched my experience immeasurably. When I was 29, about to turn 30, I took stock of my life. I was already well on my way, but some commitments hadn't yet been made, so I made them. I decided that I would no longer throw anything away. So I began to recycle. I also made a commitment to only eat organic foods, no matter that they are more expensive (my body is worth it as it's the only body I got). Within 5 years I weaned myself off meats except wild salmon and organic buffalo, and in another 5 years gave up on meat and animal proteins completely. I've been a vegan for 9 years now (since December 31, 1999). It's not as difficult as you may imagine. And I almost never get sick, and the rare times I do, it's short lived.
Luck? Choice.
Have you studied up on how people heal themselves from cancer? It's usually by going on a strict regimen of raw organic fruits and vegetables. I decided long ago rather than wait to get sick, then try to heal myself, I'd take preventative measures before hand and live as if I was healing myself from cancer. You are 46, so I don't believe it's too late for you to make some positive changes. But you have to want to change. We can't wait for the government to come along and save us.
You got the power! I suggest you leave the shotgun behind and grab a hoe. This spring dig up a little turf and plant some carrots, spinach, radishes, peas and nasturtiums. Also plant some fruit trees and berry vines if you can. Get a lot of antioxidants into your system. Give up coffee (at least moderate) and drink herbal teas, yerba mate and the like. And support your local farmers market. As I've said before, revolution begins at home. It's up to you.
Thank You Moondoggy for this excellent advice!
You hit the nail right on the head.
kegbot1
Do Yourself the favor and rethink Your Fear of becoming sick. It is
that fear that makes us vulnerable to all kinds of nonsense. For years
I was befriended with one of the most influential humans on the planet.
Her name was Filomena Dingle and she lived in Makawao on Maui,
where I spend the first seven years of my Hawai'ian Life. Filo, as we
caled her, lived with her brother Raffaele (they were originally from Italy
and I still chuckle and laugh about their Italian accent after living for
most of their lives in Hawai'i ), because Filo had a stroke when she was
40 years old. That stroke gave her the ability to heal people. And that
was what she did until she went where she knew she would be -
with her God.
They were living in a tiny cottage and the little space they had was
occupied by water containers of all sizes. The water that they collected
would be blessed every night by Mother Mary (something I always had
trouble to believe in) and was then available for the sick.
'The Sick' were people from all walks of Life. Any disease You can
imagine walked in and out their always open door. Cancer, Diabetes,
Aids, Leukemia, Arthritis, You name it, Filo took care of them with
'Blessed Water'. Since Dr. Emoto we know about the properties of
Water. That's where I kicked in and were eager to find out what all this
was about. Because the people that drank Filo's blessed water all
recovered from what was bugging them.
To see how somebody that has skin cancer in a progressed state,
recovering without 'medical help' was incomprehensible. Years later
there was a study in Germany in regards to cancer and they found out,
that if You don't eat anything after 6 pm, your body will be able to digest
what's in Your tract before You go to sleep. Only with an empty digestive
tract, Your body starts to produce a serum like chemical that has the
ability to reverse cancer cell growth.
Sounds interesting if You consider that most people in America eat
round the clock. And junk. So when Filomena prescribed her blessed
water, she actually told the people as well to change their eating habits.
We live in a world in which fear has become the ultimate means to control
people's mind and health.
In the western world, health insurance means insurance from health.
No pharmaceutical company wants healthy people. The money is made
with ailments, illnesses and diseases.
The so called 'war on terror' is a war on our health. Through a perpetual
state of fear. Fear eats up Your soul. It makes You weak and vulnerable.
Moondoggy rose out of that state of fear, or was never really in it. His
lines reflect that. And I could not agree more. My life has turned away from
mindless consumption to mindful care of my whole Being. Health comes
from the inside, not form the outside. A very famous German actor turned
105 recently and he won't stop smoking. In a country that follows the US
way of prohibiting smoking wherever possible, he sits in a TV studio
lightening one up. "You are not allowed to smoke here!" they told him in
front of the cameras. He answered "You got to be kidding me, right? I am
105 years old, I do what I want!"
So please, ponder about this and use the internet to search for what I
mentioned. Don't buy into the fear our own governments are instilling on
a daily basis. World wide. Free Your Mind and live as long as You like!
May all Beings be blessed.
Sioux Rose
IT'S just karma: You're on a roll, friend. Love this story! Water, key to life. Did you see "What the Bleep do we know" where they show the monk meditating on water alters its crysalline structure? When I spent time in Nepal at the Buddhist monastery, on our last day we went into the little home of a high monk and they kept as relics some of his hair follicles and blood to show how these items crystallized. His hair looked like copper wire, and the blood looked like gems forming or red caviar. There are so many things that happen to the holy that science is yet to understand, or as Rajneesh put it, "And lovers have often known what saints have not." So much. An open mind can accept a miracle...
.I do love your narratives, but, seriously, noone is named Filomena Dingle...;-)
.
We see things, not as they are, but as we are.
Anais Nin
http://www.divine-heart.org/filomena2/index.html
;-)
May all Beings be blessed.
.I trust you understand I was not disbelieving but joking. Thanks for the link though.
.
We see things, not as they are, but as we are.
Anais Nin
You were just plain lucky too... what if you did all of that smart living and then got sick? And didn't have enough savings even if you sold everything? And what if your insurance, your disability insurance and your healthcare savings account wouldn't cover all the bills? I suppose your answer would be to die rather than take on medical debt.
And maybe that's what we've come to. Those who foresee enough, plan enough, earn enough, work enough, save enough and stay well enough may be OK for a while if they get sick. But those who get cancer or some other costly illness and exhaust what they have -- well, to borrow an old author's thoughts -- should just die and help reduce the surplus population? I cannot accept that.
I cannot live a perfect life and have not lived one. And I believe healthcare is a basic human right that even the imperfect among us are worthy of having. Everybody in, nobody out.
Donna Smith, American SiCKO
Hi Donna, thanks for the article, and reply to my comment.
Yeah, luck was part of it. But also making choices that most people would shudder at. I have never had a high paying job. I just didn't throw my hard-earned paychecks away at trying to live like someone with money.
I worked as a seasonal forester for many years while camping in the Forest to avoid paying rent. I got lucky a few times house sitting for extended periods and payed or worked off low rent living on ranches. I spent many years living in a tent and a tepee.
I met my wife later in life (age 35) who also lived in a tepee for 9 years. I won't go into great detail because it's a long story. But we bought a piece of raw land in Montana for dirt cheep. We built this place from scratch trading out labor.
Every day it gets better, little by little. We grow about half the food we eat in a garden we developed on a rocky bench above the river. I built the top soil myself from shoving peat and horse shit bringing it in by wheelbarrow. We heat our cabin with wood we cut ourselves.
Most people would think we are crazy, and one week spent with us and most people wouldn't be able to hack it. We work hard, and I mean hard. With frozen fingers and toes! But we don't owe anyone except the tax man. We pay about a thousand a year in property taxes.
We don't have health insurance, except just being careful, and knowing how to heal with herbs and homeopathy. Risky? No more risky than living it up in a McMansion with a 3 car garage and a corporate job down the freeway, with bills up the ass. We just live without all the silly luxuries most people "need". And we rarely travel.
We made a conscious decision early in life to live simply. Read Henry David Thoreau, and simplify. Get together with other like-minded folks and pool your resources, even if it's just a talent for cooking, gardening, building, writing, massage, or however you may contribute.
We need community now more than ever.
In Canada the Medical Care Act of 1966 was the final component of a developing medical care system. It was introduced by a minority Liberal government pressured by the New Democratic (socialist) Party, that held the balance of power.
I have always considered that the US abhorrence of socialism (which many treat as profanity) and the cult of individualism underlie the current lack of social services.
Change will require a paradigm shift and consequently be extremely difficult to bring about. However the current economic crisis provides some hope, especially recognizing that the Chinese word for crisis also means opportunity.
Remember Donna, home is where the heart is and good luck.
Sioux Rose,
it's not a "sin against nature." it's ruling class rape. are you ready to take whatever means necessary to stop it and build a better society?
tom arnall
arcata
Sioux Rose
TOM: I'll concede to both! How's that. What do you have in mind? The Bahai faith sees the teacher as a high calling, and I consider myself one. I try to educate people and have made that a lifelong commitment. If you're asking me to join a revolution or use firearms, that's not my style. I think it's better to pre-empt violence then get embroiled and find one's self on the front lines of defense or offense.
Sioux Rose,
Your visionary contributions on these pages are educational and they are appreciated.
This online community indeed holds some promise!
Sioux Rose
WC652: Your kindness is deeply appreciated. Happy holidays to you and those you love.
Sioux Rose,
Thank you.
And I extend best wishes to you;
happy holidays to you and those you love.
I'm very sad to hear about your situation Donna.
I know we chatted before regarding one of your previous articles on Healthcare.
The only suggestion I can make is possibly moving to Massachusetts.
They have a very imperfect universal healthcare system in place, very similar to the one Obama desires.
Every person is forced to buy health insurance. Those with little income get it for free.
Their program is already collapsing under the weight of its own stupidity. One estimate I read said the program might not last another three years.
But if you need access to healthcare run to Massachusetts and get what you can.
I do have insurance -- that's a good thing. But I'll admit I always worry about the co-pays and deductibles and that's still scary to me, so I avoid going to the doctor now.
I always feel like I'm being worked in the current healthcare system. I'm a source of revenue not a patient. It bothers me and makes me mis-trust the information I am given as I wonder what the financial motive is behind the treatment offered. So, honestly, I try not to access the system much anymore and use lots of OTC meds to "treat" things that might be better treated otherwise.
Donna Smith, American SiCKO
.You are very aware, I am certain, that 50% of all bankruptcies are health care related. Those folks thought they had health care also, and, once a life threatening situation occured, they found they were not going to be covered.
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We see things, not as they are, but as we are.
Anais Nin
Donnasicko:Donna Smith, hello. I can empathize with you. Not sure where to begin:easiest "small things". Yes. There's a radio producer on WBAI www.wbai.org Sidney Smith, who is now homeless, has all his belongings in some boxes and about 6 back packs, near age 60. (shows are online,free, Sidney Smith's show "Carrier Wave" and he was talking about it last Sunday. I am a longtime listener. He once had a house. His mom died. He paid off all her medical debts. Community radio has mostly volunteer producers.) He talked about what small things he's holding onto, doesn't care about his furniture and some things in storage. Gave all the jewelry to relatives.
Also, the book title and why "The God of Small Things",novel by Arundhati Roy.
I went through bankruptcy due to disabling illness. Didn't own a house, am a renter. Spouse is working, can't afford to retire on soc. sec. (bank loans for his PhD will go on forever; creative interest for when you have to defer month or months' payment). Education cuts can take away his job.
Just remember no one is ever the only one. (That's for the readers. Donna knows that.)
I just listened to WBAI Evening News. www.wbai.org (The Pacifica station in NYC.)www.pacifica.org
Interview with two people,workers from Coalition for the Homeless, in NYC. A good group. www.coalitionforthehomeless.org
There are 1300 families per month going into the shelter/homeless system in NYC at this time. Higher than ever in the history of the city of NY keeping records for 25 years.
The Gov.and Mayor are planning cuts, so that the preventive services to keep people in their homes, are going to lose money=more people into the shelter system which is "many thousands of dollars more expensive" per family than helping to pay the rent for a short time. The Mayor has also stopped giving Section 8 vouchers to homeless families. "An ounce of prevention..." Many are people who have just lost their jobs or foreclosure victims. NYC had been prey to predatory lenders in minority communities. Where people had formerly been redlined by banks (and couldn't get mortgages in certain neighborhoods of color), predatory lenders came in, you know, that housing bubble, and when the people got hit a year or two later with gigantic increase in monthly mortgage rates, they couldn't pay. (Source for comment on redlining,predatory lending:NYC Councilmember Charles Barron.)
People who are younger, in good health, have money in the bank, inherited a family business or job in one, or have good family connections tend to be the most nonempathetic. It doesn't take a lot to learn. One job loss, one chronic illness...I am so happy that I am well enough to do this comment and have a computer, used, older.
Donna Smith, thank you for your telling your story. I lost family members when I became ill:fear. I lost professional and old friends:fear. People run from their fear of severe illness or disability. I have heard it so many times from other artists. And I have CFS/ME. I can only imagine what someone with AIDS has gone through. I made new friends. My beloved spouse didn't "run away".
My good wishes to Grandpa. Thank you for your service Donna Smith. I remain hopeful for all of us. Humor goes last, is my motto. And, as Jesse Jackson always reminds, "Keep hope alive.".
Thank you. I have so much compared to others -- my husband, an apartment and the ability to write. I am warm while many are not. I am fed while many are hungry.
I even get to comment in circles of power and pray my words sometimes make a difference. A year ago, I had much, much less.
I just want us to create a more just system in which we truly value life and one another -- and we do so in the most efficient and cost-effective way. Single payer givers people dignity and gives much more to the nation. Dignity is good for the economy, it turns out, not just the soul.
Donna Smith, American SiCKO
donnasicko:Donna Smith:One last thought, when I read you say that you have so much more than others. It reminds me of when I got ill and people started telling me how others were in worse shape. My spouse pointed out:everyone's pain is important. That's the best I can explain it. I was pleased to see your honoring of your mother. Our mothers and grandmothers have been through very tough times and taught us "survival". Good holidays to you.
This is what happens when GREED becomes the driving ethic of a nation instead of community.
When will we all join together and help one another out.
The SYSTEM is not working!
it just isn't working.. very soon I will be in this very same situation.it is frightening, saddening and the world just keeps on turning...
Donna Smith:
Thank you for this article.
I have what may seem like a simplistic suggestion.but here goes.In gentle tone but unequivical words,tell your children that you and your husband are hurt by their not visiting.Perhaps settling on brief visits because of size limitations would suit everyone's needs.
Siouxrose:I'd like to second the compliments above.You lose me on occasion when you delve into the arcana of astrology,but I always brighten up when I see your "handle".
Thanks for the comments. I enjoy everyone's comments and learn a great deal from them.
As for the grown kids, some day I know I'll grow smarter in their eyes as their own lives unfold -- I just always hope for lessons more easily learned for them. My mom seems incredibly wise to me now not because of her increase in knowledge but because of my own willingness to honor her effort and her love.
Donna Smith, American SiCKO
Sioux Rose
KLEVER: When I was a little girl my father would eat cheeses that to me had odd smells. He would say, "You develop a taste for it." That's the analogy I can best associate with bringing the esoteric perspective of astrology and its cycles into this forum. In the beginning my clients could not keep up with what I was trying to show them about their lives, but over time, and the evidence of things stated coming quite often to pass, they have developed an ear for it. It is a language of complex associations, the likes of which we are not taught to recognize; but it's underlying structure is utterly LOGICAL. (astro-logical, in fact!) May the stars be with you... this holiday season.
Sioux Rose: When I was a little girl, my father ate Limburger cheese. It smelled bad. From Brooklyn, to Florida (although I'm older), and my dad said the same thing as yours....it's a small world indeed.
Sioux Rose
Dear Lady, I am a native New Yorker, who's traveled a good deal, born with the gypsy blood it would seem.
Do you mean me "dear lady"? Where in NY?