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NOVEMBER 14, 1998   6:56 PM
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT: Biotic Baking Brigade
(415) 267-5976, or via e-mail at bbb_apple@hotmail.com
Biotic Baking Brigade Strikes Again; Sierra Club Official Carl Pope Pied
SAN FRANCISCO - November 14 - The Biotic Baking Brigade (BBB) generously delivered a cappuccino cream pie to Sierra Club (SC) Executive Director Carl Pope this morning at the Club's annual Board of Directors meeting in downtown San Francisco.

Agent Key Lime of the BBB served up this treat to the SC's "cappuccino environmentalist" president with the announcement, "Hey Carl, this is for Headwaters," and then vanished from the third floor of the office building without a trace. Agent Key Lime gently achieved full facial contact, thereby successfully completing "Operation Carl's Comeuppance."

"Carl Pope's unconscionable behavior has made him the Benedict Arnold of the SC, betraying the interests of founder John Muir, SC members, and the environment. The BBB tried and pied Pope for the following crimes:
  • using his political influence to save the Headwaters Sellout Deal from defeat in the California legislature and endorsing the 'Habitat Conservation Plan' scam;
  • supporting the disastrous and unpopular Quincy Library Bill in the form of a recent legislative rider, a plan which is opposed by every responsible environmentalist in the nation;
  • siding with multinational timber corporation Weyerhaeuser by supporting fraudulent land swaps in Washington state and Arkansas;
  • and most importantly, for accepting multi-million dollar gifts for the Club while refusing to disclose to the Board who made them and the strings that may be attached. Where's the money coming from, Carl?

The grassroots environmental movement says, 'Let justice be served!' " commented Agent Apple of the BBB.

The General Command of the Biotic Baking Brigade -- Ecotopia Cell (GC/BBB--EC) met in emergency session this morning at Boysenberry Prairie, and issued the following statement: "In defense of our Headquarters and Secret Ovens here in the heart of the Headwaters forest, we issued a directive to our agents in the Bay Area to deliver a message to the Sierra Club's Pope: 'HCP this!' Carl Pope has no business bargaining away wilderness that he hasn't even been to. We speak pie to power, and send this message to his other corporate enviro cronies as well." The HCP referred to by the GC/BBB--EC stands for Habitat Conservation Plan, which some environmentalists and social justice activists claim represents "Huge Corporate Profits" instead.

"Operation Carl's Comeuppance" concludes the sixth successful BBB mission in the last five weeks. Previous recipients of the BBB's just desserts include Charles Hurwitz (CEO, MAXXAM Co., parent company of Pacific Lumber), Milton Friedman (Nobel Laureate neoliberal economist), Robert Shapiro (CEO, Monsanto Co.), Renato Ruggiero (Director General, World Trade Organization), San Francisco Supervisor Gavin Newsom, and SF Mayor Willie Brown.

"The BBB is a movement rather than a group. We have no members, though there is an underground network of militant bakers who provide us with nothing but the best vegan and organic pies. The focus of the current pastry 'uprising' is to hold corporate crooks and their lackeys in government and the non-profit sector accountable. Our track record shows that unlike them, we don't just promise pie in the sky, we deliver" concluded Agent Apple.

This action is dedicated to the work and inspiration of a certain musician, who wrote the following lyrics for a song about Sierra Club founder John Muir: "If he could see the pollution now, he'd settle for no compromise/It's too bad the Sierra Club waters down his legacy straightening corporate bigwigs' ties."

"Never doubt that a small and dedicated group of people with pies can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
--Subcommandante Tofutti of the GC/BBB--EC, after Margaret Mead.

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