Muslims Report Stuff: Let the Trumpster Fire Rage

Muslims Report Stuff: Let the Trumpster Fire Rage

Silver Lining Dept: The electoral carnage may reflect the utter debasement of our possibly once-lofty democratic process, but the awful spectacle of The Vulgar Talking Yam has yielded, in the name of our collective survival, untold riches for assorted sages, trolls, wits, wiseacres and improbable activists. Many have been antic: the online Trump Your Cat campaign, the new Tampons For Trump as an offshoot of last year's Periods For Pence, the explosion of Trump pinatas in Mexico and Trump parade floats around the world, the omnipresence of Trump at this year's Comic Con, the eager search for new insults to describe the indescribable - fuzzy meatwad, talking combover trash fire, decomposing pumpkin pie inhabited by vicious albino squirrels etc.

The latest debate debacle ushered in new gifts, from the absurd to the substantive. After that whole messy pussy-grabbing thing, online pundits created #PussyBowGate, exploring the mystery of whether Melania's wardrobe choice at the debate - a $1,100 Gucci pussy-bow blouse - was a deliberate troll, and if so, of whom? (The likely conclusion: It was a sign of cluelessness.) The debate also sparked a campaign by Musicians For A Trump-Free America vowing to write and perform 30 anti-Trump songs in 30 days, with proceeds going to voter registration drives. And it led to the launch of an American Muslim Women's Political Action Committee, urging Muslims to vote and thanking the Orange One for "bringing us together" - a political reality confirmed by polls showing Clinton holds an unprecedented 33 point lead among women who will, in the end, likely defeat Trump.

Perhaps the most gratifying takeaway from the debate is the brilliant hashtag #MuslimsReportStuff, born of the excruciatingly racist moment when the Trash Fire told a young Muslim woman she should deal with Islamophobia by reporting any suspicious actions by her several billion fellow Muslim terrorist wannabees. And oh, those giddy reports have flooded in. They range from site-specific - "I want to report a grammatically challenged orange man with control issues interrupting lady 18 times on national stage and humping chair...Cheeto-faced orange predator lurking and threatening presidential nominee...I'd like to report a suspicious case of extreme mansplaining happening right now in St. Louis" - to helpful public service announcements - Traders Joe's has dried mangos on sale - to general To wit: "I think my sister drank orange juice straight out of the carton, will continue to investigate... Hijab Auntie at Costco, cart empty, now getting seconds of all samples...I'd like to report that although I told everyone I cleaned my car I actually just put everything in the trunk...Someone in my house didn't close the cereal box this morning..."

Thanks to our enduring, collective, now-vital grace and wit, hopefully we'll prevail. Keep in mind Thomas More: “The devil…the prowde spirite…cannot endure to be mocked.”

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