Daddy Swore An Oath But He Forgot To Bring the Cheez-Its
Daddy Swore An Oath
Y'all Qaeda, Vanilla ISIS, and our favorite, Yokel Haram. (Sample postThere are also Irony Alerts: Many of those who say they're fighting the big bad government - and are asking for supplies via the U.S. mail - live off government checks. And of course they're demanding what historically isn't theirs; notes one commenter, "Nothing is whiter than trying to 'take back' land that never belonged to you, and then asking for snacks."
The latest well-deserved indignity has been visited upon them thanks to anti-Muslim activist and all-round loudmouth Jon Ritzheimer, who posted a tearful, now infamous video to his children explaining, while waving a teeny copy of the Constitution, why he couldn't be home for the holidays. "Your daddy swore an oath,” he solemnly proclaims, "to protect and defend the Constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic.” Evidently inspired by such yokel fervor, Mountain Goats frontman John Darnielle challenged other "patriotic dads" to likewise join the righteous fight, and #DaddySworeAnOath was born. Good times. The best: Strunk and White.
Update: Now there's riotous homoerotic posts, complete with vegan jerky! Hot!