The One Who Knocks: It's Not Over Till A Florida Mom Says It's Over
Treading less than lightly, a petition protesting they represent "a dangerous deviation (from) family friendly values" has pressured Toys 'R Us to remove its new Breaking Bad action figures, featuring meth-kingpin Walter White, sidekick Jesse Pinkham, and their own singular accoutrements - itty-bitty bag of blue meth, stack of cash, gas mask, fedora, beakers, tighty-whities and that omnipresent fly in the lab. Despite the presence of a counter-petition arguing that "PARENTS should be the one dictating what their kids watch, buy, read, play and consume," the store announced that the figures, marked as appropriate for age 15 and up, "have taken an indefinite sabbatical." In interviews, the Florida mother who authored the original petition has protested Breaking Bad's "violent content and celebration of the drug trade," arguing, "Anything to do with drugs is not doing the right thing." In the lofty name of doing the right thing, we thus assume Toys 'R Us will soon be conscientiously removing from their shelves their Bioshock Infinite Action Figure, Marvel Superhero War Machine Figure, Power Ranger Megaforce Deluxe Battle Gear Blaster, G.I. Joe Cobra Armored Assault Playset, Black Camo Navy Seal Boat Playset, Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare Day Zero, Total Soldier True Heroes Ultimate Military and Tactical Mission and Troop Transporter playsets, 'Lil Troops Recon Scout and Desert Trooper figures and Walking Dead Zombies with little severed bloody heads etc etc etc, never mind, at the other end of the spectrum, all those pink Mix and Makeup Nail Sparkle Kits and Grow With Me Cook and Care Kitchen Sets and Just Like Home Microwaves and - the best! - Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse Grocery Store and Doll Playsets. But take heart: The figures - a plush Jesse! - are apparently still out there. In two tweets, Bryan Cranston had the perfect final word on the success of the petition: "I'm so mad, I'm burning my Florida Mom action figure in protest," and on the sabbatical, "Word on the street is that they were sent to Belize. Nicely played Florida Mom."