Defending the Right to Loaded Burritos and Downright Weirdness and Cradling AK-47s With Our Likewise Beloved Toddlers
The latest in the tawdry spectacle of Hysterical Gun Fetishists vs. Common Sense: After a few heavily armed idiots from "Open Carry Texas" stormed the fast-food barricades at Sonic, Chili's and Chipotle, the NRA, in a rare moment of coherence, carefully praised the Lone Star State's "robust gun culture" but suggested that "an attention-hungry few (had) crossed the line from enthusiasm to downright foolishness" and that in fact bringing assault weapons in with you for lunch was "downright weird, downright scary...just not neighborly" and "distracting from our mission," which prompted the ever-reasonable folks of Open Carry to freak out, call the statement "extremely disrespectful and unwarranted," and threaten to leave an NRA that "has lost its relevance and sided with #guncontrolextremists and their lapdog media,” which prompted the NRA to quickly recover from its momentary lucidity and abjectly apologize for its "mistake" and insist it sure isn't their job "to criticize the lawful behavior of fellow gun-owners," - though, alas, the NRA still hasn't apologized to all the rest of us - after which the newly vitalized gun owners said Yahoo! and Bring it on! and Let's invade the Home Depot parking lot this weekend with assault rifles strapped to our backs to "let people know they're free"! Which they did. Smart move. Now everyone is more scared than ever of these morons for entirely good reasons and all those fast-food establishments are now asking them to pu-leeze not bring their goddamn firepower in for lunch because WHAT is their problem and activist groups are galvanizing to oppose their next expected appearance at Target and increasingly fed-up citizens are suggesting that, given the difficulty of distinguishing the famous "good guy with a gun" from the batshit crazy guy with a gun, maybe they could start wearing uniforms like, maybe, a brown shirt, possibly topped with a dunce cap? Maybe that would help. Or not. With a terrifically spooky video satire on the NRA's hypnosis that preaches, "You are alone. Except for guns, sweet guns."
Update: A loaded gun just turned up in the toy aisle at a South Carolina Target. Because this is now our country.
From a Facebook post: "Defending the border between the foot powder and the dental floss."
Weird, scary, un-neighborly idiots at Chipotle