Florida Pols Love 'Em Some Guns, Lady Parts Not So Much.

Florida Pols Love 'Em Some Guns, Lady Parts Not So Much.

by
Abby Zimet

Florida knows you can never have too much of a good thing, like, say, guns. So even though its denizens already boast over a million concealed-weapon permits, making them the most well-armed in the country, Florida's GOP pols and NRA allies have been admirably busy adding to the state's arsenal: Armed guards in schools! Pop-Tart guns in schools! Stand Your Ground expanded to include warning shots! Now they're hustling through a bill in the House to allow people to carry concealed firearms without a permit during emergencies such as riots, civil unrest or forced evacuations during natural disasters like floods and hurricanes - times, admittedly, when people might be under a wee bit of stress or tempers might be just a tad frayed or situations might pose some tricky questions for a rushed-through, vaguely-worded bill, like if you can carry the gun through chaotic streets does that mean you can also bring it into a  shelter crowded with terrified people, or does it count if you're actually going towards the riot to join in rather than away from it, but, anyway, what could go wrong? The NRA loves the bill. Sheriffs' groups say it's "the definition of insanity." Democrats agree, though at least one thinks it might be okay in a zombie apocalypse. The kicker: Before legislators started talking about guns, they were talking about lady parts, and how they want to effectively ban abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy. But before they proceeded with that oh-so-delicate conversation, they led out all the teenaged pages, who were at the House to learn about the business of state government, which evidently includes efforts to regulate women's bodies, which they clearly know nothing about, nor are they likely to learn anything now, thank the good Lord. The young people were kept out until the talk turned to a more appropriate subject for their tender sensibilities: guns. Then they were brought back. The let's-let-everyone-with-a-gun-run-riot-during-a-riot bill will probably come up for a vote Friday. We can't wait.

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