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Wounded On the Battlefield of Porn and Masturbation

by Abby Zimet

WTF? Brigham Young University has released a truly bizarro video featuring grim mock war scenes that warns young Mormon wankers not to watch porn because they will be tempted to masturbate and they will become "spiritually wounded on the battlefield of the great war” and their friends will have to come to their aid to save those "wounded warriors," so don't do it, please, or at least close the door. Just wow. Unsurprisingly, many online wiseacres quickly caused the comments to be disabed, and a subtle parody video has already appeared, because, of course.

“The temptations of the Great War are many," intones the somber voice of president Kim Clark from on high. “The enemy is cruel, ruthless, and relentless.  We must be vigilant and valiant.”

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