Ask J.P. Morgan: When Will You All Go To Jail?
Annals of Obliviousness: The brilliant minds at J.P. Morgan came up with the idea of a question-and-answer session on Twitter using the hashtag #AskJPM, evidently unaware that everybody hates them. Hilarity ensued. Some samples: "As a young sociopath, how can I succeed in finance?" "How can a company spend $100,000,000 per day on legal expenses and not be a criminal enterprise?" "Can I have my house back?" "Is it true that, while you don't always spit on poor people, when you do, you have perfect aim?" "Did you have a specific number of people's lives you needed to ruin before you considered your business model a success?" and "Where do babies come from?" After the insults started streaming in, JP Morgan "cancelled" the Twitter session, evidently unaware that you can't cancel Twitter. Good times.
Did you have a specific number of people's lives you needed to ruin before you considered your business model a success? #AskJPM
— Amy Hunter (@amy10506) November 13, 2013
— alexis goldstein (@alexisgoldstein) November 14, 2013
Is it the ability to throw anyone out of their home that drives you, or just the satisfaction that you know you COULD do it? #AskJPM
— David Dayen (@ddayen) November 13, 2013
Did you always want to be part of a vast, corrupt criminal enterprise or did you "break bad"? #AskJPM
— Kevin Murphy (@kcm74) November 13, 2013
#AskJPM What is the maximum amount of material wealth that a person can accumulate and still be allowed into Heaven?
— amusebarf (@amusebarf) November 11, 2013
Do you like puppies? If you had a puppy, what would you name him? #AskJPM
— Matt Levine (@matt_levine) November 13, 2013