Science As Indoctrination: Creationists Sue Kansas For Teaching Evolution, Which Violates Their Freedom of Religion, Or Something
A creationist group in Kansas, where evolution has long had a hard time of it, is suing state education officials for "indoctrinating" students in atheism and thus violating their First Amendment right to religious freedom by including evolution and climate change in new national science standards, rather than simply telling them that "how life arises continues to be a scientific mystery," thus challenging their own religion with the religion of science, which we realize makes no sense whatsoever, but, hey, this is Kansas. On the bright side, if the government shuts down, maybe the children of Kansas will thenceforth be spared having to learn the brutal truths of the religion of science.
"By the time you get into the third grade, you learn all the essential elements of Darwinian evolution. By the time you're in middle school, you're a Darwinist." - the outraged Citizens for Objective Public Education, arguing that new science standards promote atheism and therefore violate the separation of church and state.