Bikes As Bad Stuff Like Socialism, Terrorism, Class War and Thought Control

Bikes As Bad Stuff Like Socialism, Terrorism, Class War and Thought Control

by
Abby Zimet

New York City's new Citi Bike, the nation's largest bike share system offering 6,000 bikes at 300 stations at a (steep) daily or weekly price, has elicited a hilarious, hysterical, SNL-worthy reaction from tabloids complaining the program a. made two employees late when they couldn't get the rack thingy to work as advertised, b. led to one bike being stolen (which would ordinarily never happen in the city), c. might lead to a bike business going broke, d. might have blocked an ambulance but didn't, and d. represents class war, a threat to public safety, an Al Qaeda-like insurgency like in Iraq, a dastardly plot by "urban thought leaders," an ominous way for "a few earnest users... to feel morally superior," "another governmental incursion into the private marketplace," and an opportunity to ask the sobering question, "Why do we have to share bikes?" thus raising the terrifying spectre that maybe wealth will be next. Oddly, nobody is asking why a for-profit business and massive marketing campaign for a financial behemoth once dubbed "too big to fail, too big to regulate, too big to manage, and (operating) as if it’s too big to care” would be causing everyone to freak out like this.

 

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