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McBarf: Your Happiest Meal Ever, Served By Your Badly Underpaid McTeachers

by Abby Zimet

Wow. Did you know that along with their $1 billion in advertising, their direct and slimily indirect marketing of fat-grease-and-corn-syrup everything, their Happy Meals "adver-games" and celebrity "brand ambassadors," their uncanny conflating of "community involvement" with selling stuff in order to appease wary "gatekeepers" - aka mothers - of their victims, and the stealth invasion by the every-creepy Ronald McDonald of hundreds of schools across this fine obese land, McWorld does this: They hold McTeachers' Nights wherein under-paid, over-worked, rarely-recognized teachers spend a night after doing what they do all day cleaning tables and making smoothies for them for free so you'll visit your local McPredators and buy a bunch of sludge for a bunch of money after which the insidious McHyprocrites will give a teeny little bit of it to your school so you won't have to bake quite so many brownies to fund arts programs and math teams. In honor of this Mother's Day, many people, including the advocacy group Corporate Accountability, are saying: Not.