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Right Wing to SCOTUS: No Marriage Equality Because Gays Don't Really Exist and If They Do They Lobby Too Much and Besides God's Wrath Will Smite Us Down

by Abby Zimet

With the Supreme Court set to hear arguments on two key marriage equality cases in March - the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and California's Proposition 8 - right-wing groups are busy filing briefs to support their inevitably bizarre arguments why only they get to decide who can get married and it sure won't be any of those swishy gay people thank you very much.

Among the arguments: House Republicans are spending $3 million to say the federal government has the authority to ensure "national uniformity" in benefits and same-sex couples do not share "the unique relationship between marriage and procreation" of opposite-sex couples.

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops says gays don’t deserve any legal protections because the only thing that defines them, like polygamists, is their “voluntary actions,” which involve "a species of conduct."

Similarly, the Family Research Council says gays' and lesbians'  identities are only defined by behavior and thus they don't really exist but then again if they do exist they are a powerful political lobbying group except in the many states that have banned same-sex marriage which prove there is no “emerging awareness” they have the right to marry, and besides if they could marry then Christians would be “ostracized and themselves targeted for discrimination.”

Finally, Westboro Baptist Church says same-sex marriage "will destroy this nation" by approving "what God has called abominable" thus incurring His/Her destructive wrath as in "a curse if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God” and the sin of Sodomy and Noah and fornication and whoah watch out.

Sigh. No word yet from the Obama administration to counter any of these "arguments."

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