For Warriors, By Warriors, A Zippered Covert Carry System With No Unsightly Bulges, and Patriotic Too!

For Warriors, By Warriors, A Zippered Covert Carry System With No Unsightly Bulges, and Patriotic Too!

by
Abby Zimet

Don't worry be happy: American Tactical Apparel, with the help of former Houston cop Brian Hoffner, has finally designed a carry system "engineered for battle" in the form of zippered pants offering "comfort, concealment, and access like never before" - and Texas-made, so none of that crap of "American warriors fighting and dying in Chinese made pants." The fashion upgrade is part of a growing trend amidst gun owners scrambling to buy and stockpile as many firearms as possible before, as the NRA-fueled rumors have it, President Obama gets re-elected and bans all guns ever, even though in fact he hasn't passed any gun laws at all, but still, who knows. This bone-tingling, heart-rattling video will get you suitably hepped up for the upcoming catastrophe. Or something.

"These pants aren't just for the SWAT guys, they're for soccer moms and your everyday superheroes - those high-speed operators that suddenly need to defend themselves and their family." - Hoffner.

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