Colbert: 1, South Carolina GOP: Zero and Red-Faced
Stephen Colbert, who believes so fervently in corporate personhood he argues parents should allow their daughters to date corporations, somehow convinced the poor Republicans in his native South Carolina to put a ballot question in their presidential primary asking if “corporations are people” or “only people are people,” in exchange for a contribution from his Super PAC. Alas, it didn't go well.
“After the citizens of South Carolina declare once and for all that corporations are people, we can move on to other urgent issues facing our great nation,” Colbert said in a statement. “In 2016 I hope to include a question on whether Democrats are people.”