The Rapture Is Coming! The World Is Ending! Lots Of Cheap Stuff For Sale!
Ye poor unsaved souls who are in godless denial or simply earthly procrastinators, take heed: The end is near. One Harold Camping, president of Family Radio, warns WE CAN KNOW that Judgment Day is coming May 21, this Saturday, followed by five months of "chaos and tribulation" and, finally, the end of the world on Oct 21. Ye must read the Bible and ask God "to have mercy on each of our souls." But woe, there live amongst us "scoffers and their evil desires." They are after your worldly possessions on Craig's List - "willing to travel" - and seeking cheap stereos on a post-rapture Facebook page and planning unholy Rapture Parties. Oh, repent, wise guys. The time is short; stereos are going fast.
"And they that understand among the people shall instruct many..." - Daniel 11:33