Back Where He Belongs

by Abby Zimet

Acting on anonymous tips from the Hispanic-American community, U.S. border officials deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who for the last 48 years had been living here illegally, with his 17 children, under the name Lou Dobbs. Officers said Dominguez/Dobbs pulled a knife, swore in Spanish and spit on them, "like they will," before they grabbed him by the serape. From the Onion.

CNN sources said they knew nothing about Dobbs' past: "All we knew was that he was willing to take the job most American newscasters didn't want – namely, speaking out hysterically against immigration at every turn to help us gain ratings points against Fox News."

Dominguez/Dobbs' family

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