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Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care
WASHINGTON - After months of committee meetings and hundreds of hours of heated debate, the United States Congress remained deadlocked this week over the best possible way to deny Americans health care.

"Both parties understand that the current system is broken," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters Monday. "But what we can't seem to agree upon is how to best keep it broken, while still ensuring that no elected official takes any political risk whatsoever. It's a very complicated issue."
"Ultimately, though, it's our responsibility as lawmakers to put these differences aside and focus on refusing Americans the health care they deserve," Pelosi added.
The legislative stalemate largely stems from competing ideologies deeply rooted along party lines. Democrats want to create a government-run system for not providing health care, while Republicans say coverage is best denied by allowing private insurers to make it unaffordable for as many citizens as possible.
"We have over 40 million people without insurance in this country today, and that is unacceptable," Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said. "If we would just quit squabbling so much, we could get that number up to 50 or even 100 million. Why, there's no reason we can't work together to deny health care to everyone but the richest 1 percent of the population."
"That's what America is all about," he added.
House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) said on Meet The Press that Republicans would never agree to a plan that doesn't allow citizens the choice to be denied medical care in the private sector.
"Americans don't need some government official telling them they don't have the proper coverage to receive treatment," Boehner said. "What they need is massive insurance companies to become even more rich and powerful by withholding from average citizens the care they so desperately require. We're talking about people's health and the obscene profits associated with that, after all."
Though there remain irreconcilable points, both parties have reached some common ground in recent weeks. Senate leaders Harry Reid (D-NV) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) point to Congress' failure to pass legislation before a July 31 deadline as proof of just how serious lawmakers are about stringing along the American people and never actually reforming the health care industry in any meaningful way.
"People should know that every day we are working without their best interests in mind," Reid said. "But the goal here is not to push through some watered-down bill that only denies health care to a few Americans here and a few Americans there. The goal is to recognize that all Americans have a God-given right to proper medical attention and then make sure there's no chance in hell that ever happens."
"No matter what we come up with," Reid continued, "rest assured that millions of citizens will remain dangerously uninsured, and the inflated health care industry will continue to bankrupt the country for decades."
Other lawmakers stressed that, while there has been some progress, the window of cooperation was closing.
"When you get into the nuts and bolts of how best not to provide people with care essential to their survival, there are many things to take into consideration," Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) said. "I believe we can create a plan for Americans that allows them to not be able to go to the hospital, not get the treatment they need, and ultimately whither away and die. But we've got to act fast."
For his part, President Barack Obama claimed to be optimistic, even saying he believes that a health care denial bill will pass in both houses of Congress by the end of the year.
"We have an opportunity to do something truly historic in 2009," Obama said to a mostly silent crowd during a town hall meeting in Virginia yesterday. "I promise I will only sign a clear and comprehensive health care bill that fully denies coverage to you, your sick mother, her husband, middle-class Americans, single-parent households, the unemployed, and most importantly, anyone in need of emergency medical attention."
"This administration is committed to not providing health care," Obama added. "Not just for this generation of Americans, but for many generations to come."



19 Comments so far
Show AllGovernment can not "provide" anything, it can only redistribute.
Government is not denying anyone health care BUT if they get into the business of being the redistributor of health care, THEN THEY WILL end up denying people health care.
I know it is the Onion, but stay out of politics if you don't want a rebuttal.
An opinion not supported by the facts. The Onion is more politically astute then you seem to be.
What facts are lacking that you need?
Please show how a Government can "Only redistribute". Please demonstrate how they "Can not provide anything".
Explain to me how entities outside a Government "create" rather then distribute and act as "providers" and why a given "Government" is not capable of the same.
Describe to me how property rights , wealth creation and the like can happen in a system without a Government.
Use Somalia as an example. There is no Government there. What entity provides the protection of the Citizens? What entity is "creating wealth" there?
Show even the tiniest bit of integrity, Alex123, and deliver your mea culpa at http://www.commondreams.org/view/2009/08/17 already.
It is a good thing that the insurance companies never deny anyone needed care. The "private system" is just SO efficient isn't it? It is just SO profitable. No need for change. Those 50 million without health care insurance, and an additional 50 million that have nearly useless health care "insurance"? Well, screw them, right? Lazy bastards ought to get a third or fourth job -- THAT is what America is all about, as George once told a woman already working three jobs trying to support her family. If you aren't wealthy in America, you've done something wrong, correct? Maybe YOU should stay out of politics if your powers of analysis are so weak.
"It is a good thing that the insurance companies never deny anyone needed care."
Didn't say they didn't. However, you have more control there that with a government. You trust a government that lies us into wars? I'm sure they really "care" about you more than those evil insurance companies, right?
There are never going to be "enough" resources for people's wants - doesn't matter what system it is. And add 20 million illegal aliens to the health care system is going to make it far worse.
Under a government plan, a clerk may deny coverage because they just don't care. But on the whole, government servents are pretty reasonable and they ARE answerable to the taxpayers.
With the private insurance companies, the clerks get a personal financial bonus for denying care. The insurance companies are answerable to NO ONE. In my state there are only two companies to choose from. Both are terrible. So much for private choice. The only real choice is self-insurance but no one but the obscenely rich can afford that.
I would prefer the government option to the private insurance death panels.
Actually, markets are notoriously inefficient for not being able to provide services deemed essential for society: roads, health care, law enforcement, transportation, education, etc etc etc... Oh wait... why even bother; debating with you is like attempting to debate the plants in my office.
... or the dining room table. Listen to the Barney Frank article.
You have zero integrity until you deliver your mea culpa at http://www.commondreams.org/view/2009/08/17
The government provides dams, bridges, roads, schools, fire stations. End of argument. Better start over.
Both poignantly funny AND sad because it dances so close to the painful truth.
The Onion is the modern Moliere.
Joe
Jason Grant Garza here ... I WOULD NOT buy into medicare or any other government run health care system since they are unaccountable and inhumane to their "enrollees." What do I mean by this ... I had the GOLD CARD - MEDICARE when SF General broke the law against me. I now have a signed confession through the Office of Inspector General (Donald White 202-619-0088) and yet NO HELP,RESTITUTION, CONTRITION, etc from Medicare regarding their lack of duty towards me when I told them the hospital had broken the law. Medicare told me I was wrong and NOT TO BOTHER THEM ... now, even after vindication by the Inspector General ... Medicare still will NOT explain NOR will the Inspector General do an investigation as to how this agency which is responsible for complaince could fail; however, without an investigation the failure is never acknowledged and correction never made. Type my name into a google search engine and read how the city and government screwed me and what my response has been after vindication ... or better yet thru the last eight (8) years seeking JUSTICE, REMEDY and RESTITUTION ... read the article then feel free to call and use my name and inquire:
1. SF Supervisors
Gavin Newsom (Mayor) 415-554-6141
Gene O’Connell (SF General Hospital Adm) 415-206-8000
Dr. Mitchell Katz (Director of Public Health - doctor at time - another story) 415-554-2500
Ben Rosenfield (SF Controller - Whistleblower Complaint) 415-554-7500
or maybe the BIG LEAGUE players:
Nancy Peolsi - 415-556-4862
Donald White (Office of Inspector General) 202-619-0088
or better yet the Inspector General at the time (Donald Levinson 202-619-3148) that STILL HAS NOT RESPONDED TO MY INQUIRY OVER MEDICARE FAILURE ... WHY???
or SF Medicare Regional Office (Steve Chickering) that won’t take my calls: 415-744-3501
Call and see why HOPE DIED ...
Ah, the audacity of FALSE HOPE dispensed by FALSE LEADERS promising FALSE FIXES never ACKNOWLEDGING FALSE PROCEDURAL SETUP and NEVER BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE in order to perpetuate the lie ... LOOK OVER HERE but NOT HERE.
Why lie when the TRUTH IS BAD ENOUGH ??? WHERE'S THE SHAME?
Would they care to PROVIDE FREE LEGAL COUNSEL upon my request in case they break the law again and have NO CONTRITION as in NOW??? You bet your sweet bippy they are NOT! I don't think that it is unreasonable to ask the WOLF (MEDICARE, Government and City (SF) Agencies) for a GUN (Paid Lawyer) considering NOT ONLY have they shown their teeth; but rather than fix just continue to perpetuate the deliberate false lie (correct, self monitoring, self fixing system) that they setup knowing full well it failures and lack of procedure to correct failure. So as you can tell ... IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN and now after paying into a system ... THAT WAS NOT there for me ... no fault of mine ... just the UNACCOUNTABLE people who think I will stoop their level ... selling my soul. And of coarse Medicare doesn't care ... it was negligent and I have the proof ... where are those in government to protect me? And if they won't do something (an complete total investigation listing fault and findings) regarding my case with me and the proof ... WHAT HOPE DO YOU HAVE WHEN THEY SCREW YOU?
This is the typical operating proceduare for government and city workers ... as my case proves ... they will say ANYTHING and after being BUSTED DON'T HAVE THE HUMANITY ... but can certaintly respin the facts, say they care, know what they are doing, are correct and when as NOW in my case all the meaningless words fall aside since the words are just that ... look at my case and I won and can't get an investigation going because it would reveal all since I have kept every piece of paperwork to fully and totally illustrate the farce. So who's following GOD's will? Certainly NOT the officials such as in my case that took an oath to GOD "to do no HARM." Well at least they were the professionals and still have their jobs to "LOOK OUT ??? " for others ... RUN, BE VERY AFRAID ... YOU'RE NEXT in this ruse of PUBLIC SAFETY verse PUBLIC HEALTH ... I mean we have to protect the rich and those that got us here instead of prosecuting or providing public health or mandated (legally required) health care ... just look at my case or ask the California State Prisoners ... ha, ha, ha. PLEASE CALL ANY OF THE INDIVIDUALS LISTED ABOVE ... my case fully illustrates the way ... and let's NOT forget ... I am NOT going away and as the victor I will write the HISTORY and continue to tell the TRUTH. Where's the shame or outrage ??? Oh and by the way ... some will try to divert the subject by stating that they read the article and that there was a $5K fine paid ... what they are fooling you with is that the government got the fine and the VICTIM was left to die. Strangely enough, this fine would have never been brought up since it was I who continued after having my case thrown out. The Office of Inspector General did not come to me NOR did I receive any restitution NOR contrition; however, more spin and trying to get the guilty off by stating they had paid a fine ... that's like telling someone you hit in a car accident that you'll pay for the car damage BUT NOT the VICTIM's damage. This is the current game they are playing and trying to be unaccountable towards me ... what about my false arrest record, what about the testlying in Federal Court, what about my damages ... oh, we really care ... ha, ha, ha.
Under the present system, having purchased private, for-profit health insurance does not guarantee that you will receive health care when you need it.
Under a medicare for all system, the government will not be "running" the system. It will merely be the single guarantor of payments to providers, who may continue to earn a profit, while eliminating overhead, typically 30%.
Any legitimate complaints about medicare as it stands can be traced to the fact that the major corporate players have been awarded contracts to "administer" (read "skim their vigorish off the top of") the program.
When did the Onion go into straight news reporting?
It was funnier when it was doing satire.
Alex123...
Troll, troll, troll, your boat....
MAXIMUM DENIED REQUIRES A MAXIMUM SICK
And so, our hero Onion needs to first come up with a get-sick program that maximizes the effect of his keep-sick healthcare system.
How about we give everyone all the junk food, fast food and high fat food their heart desires? Nothing like rich tasting fat to destroy about every organ in the body.