To Infinity and Beyond

To Infinity and Beyond

by
Abby Zimet

Following in a fine old Republican tradition of non sequitur,
stereotyping, and incoherent visions for the future, new RNC Chairman
Michael Steele says his party will soon make radical changes to broaden
its appeal, including an "off the hook" public relations campaign to
"uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.”

Steele
says his party needs to "reach beyond our comfort” zones and attract
young, black and Hispanic voters. To do that, he says they will convey
that the GOP still stands on its "principles," but in "urban-suburban
hip-hop settings" – which juxtaposition might sound a bit like the
oxymoronic 'military intelligence', but whatever.

Steele conceded
that "where we have fallen down in delivering a message is in having
something to say," admittedly a thorny problem for a political party.
He said the GOP particularly needs to appeal, not just to the
aforementioned one-armed midgets, but to "moms of all shapes –
soccer moms, hockey moms.”

As to the style of the campaign, he suggested it would be way past artsy.

"I don't do 'cutting edge,'" he said. "That's what Democrats are doing. We're going beyond cutting-edge."

For more on RNC plans to travel to infinity and beyond, go here

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