My Light Bulb Moment: Oprah For President
Published on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 by
My Light Bulb Moment: Oprah For President
by Jill Rachel Jacobs

We all make mistakes, but it’s a rare moment when someone in the public eye will admit they're wrong. But one of our nation’s leaders did just that. Of course, I’m talking about Oprah Winfrey.

While skeptics insist that Ms. Winfrey’s recent admittance of her James Frey faux pas was merely a front to save face, fans familiar with the talk show legend know better.

Look, I’m not one of Oprah’s disciples blindly following whatever the talk show diva recommends. OK. So my boyfriend, Michael, doesn’t like it when I call him “Stedman,” but it’s not because of Oprah. Michael just looks more like a “Stedman.” It’s a nice name. I don’t see what the problem is. But I do foresee some problems with my soon-to-be ex, who has insisted that I increase my bi-weekly therapy sessions as a result of the unauthorized name change.

Obviously, Michael has a lot of unresolved issues from his childhood, combined with a raging oedipal complex in which he still harbors a lot of unconscious angst toward his mother that he’s transferring onto me. It happens a lot. Oprah had a show on this, so I’ll try to be patient with Stedman. Oops! I mean Michael.

So what if my obsessive-compulsive employer didn’t understand my necessity to be home by 4pm to watch Oprah, even though my boss repeatedly claimed I was required to stay until the end of my 5pm shift? That doesn’t make me obsessed with the “Big O.” As a matter of fact, Oprah has done a lot great shows about OCD, in which experts described similar traits that my former anal retentive boss exhibited.

Maybe President Bush and Co.could take a lesson from Oprah when it comes to supporting truth and taking responsibility for one’s actions. But past experience suggests that won’t be happening anytime soon or at least during the remaining 1083 days, 23 hours, 3 minutes and five seconds that George Bush has left in office. (Not that I’m keeping track or anything.)

Or better yet, why not make things easy and just send Oprah to Washington? Some may chuckle at the notion of our foremost talk show host running the country, but just think what our nation could be like with Oprah at the helm.

With Winfrey in The White House, there would be no Iraq invasion based on flimsy WMD’s “intelligence” resulting in the deaths of over 2000 US soldiers and scores of innocent Iraqi civilians including lots of children.

During national disasters, Americans could feel secure knowing that those in charge had a clear understanding of the nature of the catastrophe, as Oprah spent more time on the ground reporting from New Orleans post-Katrina than President Bush, who surveyed the devastation and mass confusion from afar in his presidential chopper.

Maybe the fate of 44 million Americans currently struggling without health insurance would be addressed, as Oprah is certainly passionate about health care issues. And while waiting for Osama to surface, dead or alive, who better than Oprah Gail Winfrey to expedite this broken promise, a woman who has routinely brought child predators and murderers to justice.

Hey! If Oprah was commanderess–in-chief, she could stick Dr. Phil in the bunker and make him Vice President. The Veep frequently surfaces with an ominous message when a terror tape pops up or the President’s poll numbers are down, so I’m confident that Dr. Phil could be at least as intimidating as Dick Cheney when it comes to creating hysteria and trepidation among the masses.

Oprah sure loves books, but I bet learning the fate of “My Pet Goat” would have had to wait, unlike George Bush who continued reading the now infamous children’s book shortly after learning that the US was under attack on September 11, 2001.

I don’t get it, but Americans appear resigned to accepting so little when it comes to our leaders, seemingly held hostage by an administration deeply shrouded in secrecy and deception. Oprah had an interesting show on this, its called Stockholm Syndrome, where victims begin to identify with their captors.

Will Oprah be the next president? Probably not. But then again, you just never know where life will take you when you least expect it.

Funny, but Oprah had an interesting show on this…

Jill Rachel Jacobs is a New York-based writer and humorist whose recent publishing credits and appearances include The Washington Post, Newsday, The Boston Globe, The Independent, National Public Radio’s Marketplace and Morning Edition and CBS Sunday Morning.

© 2006 Jill Rachel Jacobs