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A Nation of Hysterics
Lenore Skenazy, a columnist for The New York Sun, caused quite a stir earlier this month when she wrote about letting her 9-year-old son take a subway and bus by himself across Manhattan. The boy had been begging her to allow him to test his big city commuting skills on his own, and she finally agreed, handing him a map, a subway token, some quarters, and a $20 bill.
She didn't give him her cell phone, nor did she secretly tail him as he sallied forth across Gotham alone.
Within days Skenazy was on various television news programs, explaining why she was not, contrary to the opinion of many commentators, America's Worst Mother.
Skenazy pointed out that for a child to be abducted by a stranger is literally a one-in-a-million event (there were about 115 such abductions in the U.S. in 2006, of which about 50 resulted in the child's death. There are about 75 million children in America).
She emphasized that New York is a very safe city, with the same crime rate as Boise, Idaho. And she insisted that not allowing children to go anywhere without adult supervision is bad both for the children themselves, and for parents who give free rein to their neurotic obsessions with risk and safety.
These are excellent points, and reminded me of something a friend told me recently. She lives in an upscale Denver neighborhood, with her husband and two small children.
Another of the neighborhood's young mothers (needless to say discussions of this topic always focus on the responsibilities of mothers, as opposed to parents) had asked her if she had checked the Internet to confirm the precise location of the neighborhood's registered sex offenders.
My friend had not, but she soon realized that failing to do so could well mark her as a negligent mom among her hypervigilant peers. And of course by doing so her own anxiety level regarding her children's safety was raised, even though at a rational level she realizes (she's a lawyer) that a sex offender address registry doesn't tell you much of anything about actual risk.
All this reflects a more general problem: the many cultural and political forces pushing us to behave like a nation of hysterics.
At the beginning of the 21st century, the typical American suburb is just about the safest place that has ever existed in the history of the world -- yet it's full of terrified people.
Statistics have little power in the face of a media environment in which extraordinarily rare events, such as strangers kidnapping children, are presented as commonplace by profit-hungry "news" outlets, for whom the bottom line is that fear sells.
Politicians realize this too. The ongoing overreaction to the 9/11 terrorist attacks is only the most vivid example of how our leaders cynically exploit our fears by making wildly exaggerated claims, such as that Islamic terrorism poses an "existential threat" to America.
Indeed, the reactions to Skenazy's column are a nice example of how the personal is political, and vice versa. Skenazy notes that one acquaintance told her that he requires his daughter to call home after she has walked the one block to her friend's house, even though they live in a typically crime-free suburb.
Other parents informed her they don't allow their children to walk alone to the mailbox.
This kind of thing encourages children to see the world in fear-ridden terms, and to grow up to become the sort of people more interested in having their government protect them from largely imaginary threats than in preserving their civil liberties.
At this point, we should be more afraid of having our children stolen from us by Republicans than by kidnappers.
Paul Campos is a professor of law at the University of Colorado. He can be reached at paul.campos@colorado.edu.
© 2008 The E.W. Scripps Co.
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79 Comments so far
Show AllAmerica has what about 12 million children that are hungry, our child poverty rate among industrialized nations is second only to Mexico, the president vetoed a bill that would give children health care. America is a dangerous place for children but not because they go out alone.
EEEEK!..WE MUST PROTECT THE CHILDREN..WE MUST PROTECT THE CHILDREN..! A REFRAIN THAT HAS COST US ACTUAL CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS AND HAS DONE ZERO..LESS THAN ZERO..FOR THIS GENERATION...GREAT JOB FOLKS..!
This mom..is SO COOL!..Hey..despite what you might think of my yelling all the time..whatever..I was raised in the country by back to the landers..so we grew up..with UTTER freedom, and..COUNTRY BOY SKILLS..but we also had..BOHEMIAN CULTURE..so..thus..we are..BOHEMIAN COWBOY'S..and okay..arrogance and bragadaccio aside..it is a better way.
I and many of my friends who grew up in the Emerald Triangle..have..what SO MANY OF TODAY'S "GENERATION Y BOTHER" (the .3 kids..as in the 2.3 kids that the boomers had..) DO NOT HAVE...STREET SENSE...
Yeah..at the "RANCH" Haloween party..uhh..Leonard Lake liked to swoop us up in his Vampire Cape...grim..and the Unicorn folks..Otter Gazelle and Co. were..and ARE..ODD..However..these.."Hitchhikers skills" have served me SO WELL in this world. I can relate..to..ANYONE!..in ANY scenario..
The POINT?
GENERATION CONFRONTATION, GENERATION HITLER YOUTH, CALL EM WHAT YOU WILL...ARE BASICALLY..THE MOST NAIVE GENERATION IN AMERICAN HISTORY..THEY TRULY...TRULY BELIEVE, THAT THEY ARE SO "DOWN" SO "COOL" ETC..ETC..THEY REALLY BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE THEY ARE DEDICCATED AND AGGRESSIVE CONSUMERS WITH KNOW HOW REGARDING THE REMOTE FOR THE STEREO..THAT THEY "KNOW THE SCORE"..HOWEVER...QUITE THE CONTRARY IS TURE...THEY ARE IN FACT........."FOOD"
Yup! That's right..."FOOD"!
They really are not "Innocent" as is my generation...the "X-Ers" or the "THIRTEENERS" WE ARE IN FACT..THE "LAST INNOCENT GENERATION" We were not INUNDATED by POLICE DOGS and PIGS SEARCHING OUR LOCKERS..."LOCK DOWN" ETC..ETC..SCHOOL "COUNSELORS" THAT USE PSYCHOBABBLE TO CALL YOU A "THREAT" BECAUSE YOU "TALK BACK"..NO..WE HAD TO GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO GET TO ACTUAL "PORN"
No! Generation Y Bother is simply...JADED..NOT STREET WISE...JUST..JADED..AND IN A REALLY DUMB WAY...THE KIND OF..IGNORANT BLASE ATTITUDE THAT ALLOWS THEM TO NOT CARE..AT ALL...BUT NOT TO BE ..."AWARE" OF THEIR SURROUNDINGS..THREATS..SIGNS..AS IN.."PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS.." THEY ARE..BASICALLY..HOPELESS...
And you know what..NOW THAT "NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND" AKA THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENTS TAKEOVER OF EDUCATION SPECIFICALLY ENGINEERED TO DO EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE..TO MOST DEFINITELY LEAVE EVERY CHILD WITH ZERO ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE THE THREATS FROM THE CURRENT "DOCTRINES" AND POLITICAL REALITIES..WELL..NOW WITH THAT SYSTEM IN PLACE..I'LL TELL YOU WHAT..BE AFRAID..BECASUE THIS GENERATION OF CONFRONTATIONAL..WITHOUT THE ESSENTIAL ACTUAL "CAUSE"...THIS GROUP HAS NO ABILITY.....ZERO ABILITY..OR DESIRE FOR THAT MATTER...TO RUN THE SHOW..THESE IDIOTS ARE NOT CAPABLE OF COMPLEX PROBLEM SOLVING WITHOUT A PEN THAT DOES THEIR SPELLING FOR THEM..HEY..I WENT TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL..THE EARLY WALDORFF SCHOOL...THAT'S MY EXCUSE..BUT THEY SIMPLY HAVE NO REASON TO CARE...OR TO GET IT RIGHT...SIMPLY PUT..THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO RUN THE GOVERNMENT..PERIOD!
THEY HAVE..THEIR ENTIRE LIVES..BEEN "PROTECTED" AND MADE TO FEEL SO MUCH "FEAR" THAT IT NO LONGER REGISTERS FOR THEM..THEY ARE ALREADY..AT 10 YEARS OLD....DEAD..DEAD INSIDE LIKE A SOCIOPATH..DEAD AS A DOORNAIL...NO REAL CONCERN, NO REAL ENJOYMENT, NO REAL HOPE OF LASTING RELATIONSHIPS..THEY DO NOT HAVE THE TOOLS FOR THOSE EXPERIENCES...
Al they know is FEAR, CONSUMPTION, GREED, how to be an effective VIEWER OF THE WORLD....VOYEURS..PURE AND SIMPLE...AND AGGRESSIVELY STUPID...GIRLS GONE WILD...GENERATION GONE STUPID...TOO DUMB..WELL..TOO UNWISE...EVEN FOR THEIR AGES...TO KNOW WHEN THEY ARE BEING SUCKERED...SO AGAIN...PARENTS FULL OF FEAR AND FOX NEWS...YOU HAVESIMPLY MADE YOUR CHILDREN INTO......FOOD FOR THE REALITY OF THIS LIFE...FOOD..AND THEY WILL BE EATEN...SIMPLE AS THAT.
I would NEVER HIRE one of these idiots...would you? if so..well..GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!
No the reality of this generation is TAILGATING YOU ON YOUR WAY TO WORK..IS RAPING YOUR DAUGHTER AT A BLOWJOB PARTY..IS STARVING HERSELF SO SHE CAN LOOK GOOD TO HER IDIOT FRIENDS..AS THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN...LIFE...NO FOLKS..THIS GENERATION IS..LOST..AND WE HAVE YEARS OF FEDERAL INTRUSION, "LOCK-DOWNS", SEARCHES OF CHILDRENS LOCKERS AT SCHOOL BY ARMED POLICE WITH DOGS, PARENTS AND TEACHERS TOO AFRAID TO DEAL WITH THEM LIKE THE ADULTS THEY ARE ON THE OUTSIDE...TREATING THEM LIKE "CHILDREN" WHILE THEY FUCK EACHOTHER LIKE PORN STARS...THUS EARNING ONLY THEIR SEETHING RAGE...AND NO RESPECT OR CONFIDENCE..NO..THIS GENERATION..THE FIRST "TECHNOLOGICAL" GENERATION..IS A LOSS..AND SHOULD BE AN EXAMPLE OF THE DANGERS OF HAVING NO RIGHTS..NO CHILDHOOD..NO INNOCENCE...
It's too bad..it really is a CRYIN SHAME..but..oh well...the world needs ditch diigers..unfortunately, unless a SHOVEL COMES WITH A PICTOGRAPHIC INSTRUCTION GUIDE IN THE FORM OF A COMIC BOOK...EVEN THAT MAY BE BEYOND THE GRASP OF MANY IN THIS GENERATION...CANNON FODDER AND BASEMENT DWELLERS FOR LIFE...GOOD JOB 50 SOMETHING PARENTS...REALLY GOD JOB...STAY SMUG..STAY THAT WAY...YOUR KID IS MY FOOD...
AHHH..ONE LAST COMES TO MIND..."GENERATION VICTIM"
By instilling in our children a fear of their environments, we drive them to become the agrophobic freaks who walk around fearing every person they see. We create an anti-social environment in which we turn to authority figures to protect us from those funny-looking people we don't know. We tear apart the very social fabric upon which each of us relies to make it through the day.
No wonder the children are so neurotic.
At ages 10 and 12 my daughters were getting themselves up, making their breakfasts and lunchs, and getting themselves onto the school bus by themselves. They never missed the bus. My older daughter, at age 24, is teaching in South Korea, and traveling the world, often by herself. My 22-year old is working at a great job, living on her own, paying her bills, etc. It is important that kids learn to take care of themselves and learn to rely on their own strength and confidence. Congrats to Lenore! BTW, she has done some great columns I've read in the Funny Times.
My neighbors don't trust anyone but family to watch their children when they need a sitter. I get looked at strange because I let my eight year old walk 3 blocks by herself to a friends or let her go with another friend to the park, alone. Our 11 yr old babysat her younger sister when we went to dinner last weekend and my neighbor was horrified. And another couldn't believe we sent our 15 yr to the grocery store on her bike, to pick up some ingredient for dinner (it's 1 1/2 miles away).
How do we expect kids to get responsible and act like adults, if we don't slowly give them more freedom? We can't keep them in a safety bubble, it's best to remember that we are raising future adults.
I was in our academic dean's office recently, involved with some bureacratic procedure, when the administrative assistant asked me if I was heading to the "active shooter" seminar. Colleges all over are running these with local law enforcement, teaching people how to deal with an "active shooter on campus." She's a nice woman, I don't wear every last bit of my political/philosophical orientation on my sleeve, so I merely replied, "No, I guess I'm still in denial."
Very good article. I've wondered about this for many years.
I grew up in what was, at the time, one of the most ethnically homogeneous cites in the U.S. We were encouraged to consider "ethnic" neighborhoods in other cites as dangerous. ALL of my experience since I left has tended to disproved this.
When I would travel on business I often would unintentionally wander into minority neighborhoods. Nothing happened.
When I moved to a large city, I would (tentatively, at first) ride my bike through minority neighborhoods while doing my business, sometimes quite late at night. Nobody cared. Nothing happened.
I have to wonder. Who benefits from this?
My first observation from when I travelled on business was that taxi drivers certainly benefited. My coworkers would cower in the hotel lobby until a taxi arrived to take them to a restaurant and back for dinner. Then I began to wonder if the automobile industry generally didn't benefit from a perception of insecurity. As people start driving the streets become more deserted and the people left walking feel less secure. The situation deteriorates from there until the affluent people move to the suburbs and drive into the city. Then there is the fact that whenever the military-industrial complex wants to invade a defenseless country (like Iraq) they first convince us the we need to be afraid of its people. Once we are afraid we can then proceed to slaughter them in good conscience. I have to wonder if something similar doesn't apply to minorities.
Insecurity is big business. There is big money at stake. The insecurity industry does not have our best interests at heart. I'm convinced of this.
Okay..OKAY...YEAH..THERE ARE THE NEW..."1% ERS" THIS TIME AROUND..THE KIDS RAISED..."CORRECTLY"..SO YEAH..SORRY..ALONG WITH SHOUTING..INCORRECT SPELLING..ETC..YEAH..I AGREE.THERE ARE..'GOOD KIDS..'..BUT C'MON..DO YOU KNOW ANY? I DON'T...MY NEIGHBOR IS A "GEN. Y BOTHER" AND HAS ALREADY BEEN SUED, HAS A KID, HAS BEEN MARRIED TWICE...THIS KID IS ONLY 25...AND HE GOES TO WORK EVERY DAY..ETC..ETC..BUT..IN ALMOST EVERY ASPECT OF HIS LIFE..HE IS A MESS..AND HE IS REALLY A NICE PERSON..HE REALLY IS..BUT..."AWARE" IN NO WAY IS HE "AWARE" HE DOES NOT EVEN VOTE...MOST OF THEM DON'T..THESE ARE THE KIDS THAT THINK NORTH CAROLINA IS ANOTHER COUNTRY...ETC..ETC..
SO I JUST WANTED TO CLEAR THAT UP...THERE ARE ..ONE PERCENTERS..JUST..WELL..ONE PERCENT OF EM...WHATS THAT? 750,000? NOT ENOUGH...ENOUGH TO FIGHT A WAR IN IRAN? MAYBE..BUT NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE A LASTING "GOOD"...SORRY FOLKS..IT'S THE TRUTH AND YOU KNOW IT!
The "Fear and Greed Election Campaign Strategy" has worked well for Republicans for the past quarter century because the US electorate keeps falling for it. It has worked so well that Hillary has now adopted it in the primary campaign.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. The US is way beyond twice on this one, so expect the 2008 Republican campaigns to be the biggest fear and greed show you have ever seen.
This is what Fox News is all about. White People be very afraid! Afraid of minorities, afraid of ambitious women, afraid of Muslims, Mexicans, poor people, germs, and most of all, liberals who want to take all of the white people's money and spend it on any of the above. Thank God for Fox News. Now we can all not sleep at night.
Fomenting hysteria is the greatest tool of those who want consummate an Orwellian society. Next, they'll be pushing for the implantation of GPS devices in all babies born in hospitals with the pretext of preventing child abductions and identifying the children of illegals. Hysteria, conformity, and the propensity for immediate gratification are the forces driving us to dystopia.
The more afraid people are the more of their civil liberties they will be willing to give up for protection from the state.
Recycle1 April 30th, 2008 1:09 pm
"My neighbors don't trust anyone but family to watch their children when they need a sitter"
Did'nt anyone bother to tell them that the majority of sexual assault on minors comes from within the family?
to each their own
personally, I think the buddy system for kids is a good compromise rather than letting them loose alone
every environment is different, we live in a very 'safe' rural area but I would not allow my kids to ride their bikes on the rural road twisting down the hill past our farm because there were so many fast idiot drivers
they didn't drive the farm tractors etc. either, ever
it doesn't hurt kids to get the message that they are precious and their lives are worth securing, the hard part is striking that balance and not getting overly overprotective
there are many aspects of the big city lifestyle that I myself would be very nervous about, for me and kids
"a nation of hysterics"
Yes, yes. A nation that spends more on military defense than all other nations combined. A nation that floods the world with armaments and leads the world in privately owned guns. Why? Because the populace is being emotionally manipulated and terrorized not by foreign terrorists but by the obscenely wealthy elites who control the government and profit from the arms and military technology industries.
According to "Manufacturing Consent" by Noam Chomsky, only 23 corporations control over 50% of the media in America and these corporations are dependent on government largess, in the form of tax breaks and contracts.
Wake up, America.
Geez, kids today are just a bunch of overprotected mollycoddles, aren't they? When I was 10 my friends and I would wander around the neighborhood at will (or until "Batman" came on), getting into dirt clod fights, finding old TVs in the woods and busting out the tubes, and riding bikes without helmets. Nowadays I guess my mother would be arrested for "child endangerment" or some such nonsense because she didn't chauffeur me from one activity to another under the constant supervision of adults. Back then they just warned us to stay away from the man on the corner who would try to get us to take "happy pills" (where is that guy anyway? I never saw him, and now that I could actually use some "happy pills," he's nowhere to be found) or the fellow who wanted us to ride around with him in his car to find his "lost puppy." Other than that we were pretty much on our own, as long as we didn't come home in the back of a police car. And this was the '70s too, when John Wayne Gacy and Ted Bundy were all over the news.
It is my view that conservatism is a form of paranoid schizophrenia in which the sufferer lives in a virtual world of imminence, an inability to distinguish him or herself from the nation – or from the looming arrival of Jesus, and habitually projects his or her own motives or dreads onto others. A nationwide climate of fear, fomented by over the top stories in fictional and non-fictional media, feeds this frenzy, validating a war on a nebulous, one-size-fits-all "terrorism." As can be seen in interpersonal and social interactions, hysteria is more contagious than plague – and in the long run just as deadly.
What fanaticism! Why, the next thing you know she will be demanding the lad perform a list of chores every day in exchange for a weekly allowance which he should then use to figure out how to eat lunch at school and buy anything else he wants or needs.
Taken to its logical conclusion and if allowed to continue unchecked, in a few years such parenting might actually lead to a mature enough young adult to handle the responsibility of finding work, saving, and spending like any other productive person. Shameful, shameful, shameful!
Lenore Skenazy, for the next person who gives you grief over this tell them to go have their own kid and raise them however they wish and in the meantime leave you the hell alone.
yeah, they are gearing up to do "active shooter" training at my work too. This is a relatively small town. We have murders - usually gang-related or family-related, but we do not have zanies, "goths" and terrorists shooting up the main lobby. And the likelihood we will approaches the likelihood of multiple asteroid collisions on Bakersfield. There has never been an act of violence at our (large, old) workplace since start of business, well over 100 years ago. We do have visits from people with mental illness and a recent such visit sparked this inane lurch towards "work-hardening" and the training and the rest of it.
Then there is "Megan's Law", requiring sex offenders to register for the rest of their lives on a local list accessible to anybody with internet access. We have two in our neighborhood. One guy did 4 years hard time for nothing more than having consensual sex with two 16 year old girls on a camping trip (he was 30). Stupid, exploitative, slimey even? Yeah, OK. But admit it boys, half of the males reading this piece would do the exact same thing if they had the chance. And should he have paid for it with 4 years hard time and then being hounded from place to place as a "registered sex offender" for the rest of his life? Please! He told me he met a guy, now stuck on the "Megan's" list, whose only crime was to have sex at age 19 with his fiance who was 17 at the time.
I think it was Edward Murrow who said, "A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves".
When did we become such a bunch of sheep?
About the fear thing, I agree. I was from a generation where I went outside to play in my rural neighborhood and checked in once in awhile to get something to eat. We never feared anybody or anything getting us.I miss the pre-fear era.
The young people coming up from their twenties and below are the generation who will change the world for good. This evil time will pass as it is already tipping toward a paradigm shift because of many enlightened, compassionate people around the world. The media doesn't mention these people much. Those who are aware of more than the physical realities in our faces know the time is here. History proves this time and again.
In the Bible story of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness for forty years because of unbelief and complaining, the older generations died there but Joshua led the younger generation on to the promised land. This happened because the older ones were stuck in ruts of old, stale and unyielding ideas and patterns they didn't even realize were holding them back from growth.They just plodded on stubborn in their old ways and griped about everything.
An example of the stale, negative belief system of the older generation to the younger is Barack Obama, who has the progressive youthful spirit of the younger generation at age 45 and his pastor still caught in the unhappy accusations and judgments of his fading generational mindset.
The enlightened (knowledgable of truth that most seem to be oblivious to)people in their thirties on up into the seventies and even some very active and intelligent eighty(I think he is 82) year olds like Jimmy Carter are the ones who are going to have to clean up the unbelievable mess made by the generations from the fifties and sixties. Hopefully, if we can get someone although imperfect, like Barack Obama who knows how to use logic and wisdom and has compassion, we can work together to get a lot of it cleaned up before they are ready to take over.
Don't dishonor the youth. Look to them with awe as they refuse war, disdain powerful corporations and seek to help save the oppressed of the world. Us adults should help the youth who are off balanced and hurt by the adverse affects of this crazy society rather than point fingers at them.
Hyperviligant parents produce selfish, dependent, fear-ridden kids. This business of thinking kids can be protected from EVERYTHING life holds for them is stupidity and short sightness at its worse. These are often the same parents who allow unsupervised TV and computer use; as if harm doesn't come via a tube?
These are the same parents who complain because Jr. won't leave home at or after age 21.
Grow up parents and teach your kids about independence.
I'm 54 years old, and grew up in rural Indiana. The things I was allowed to do as a child would probably get a parent arrested in today's world (my activities involved firearms, fireworks, cans of gasoline, ropes, and tall trees!). Yet somehow I survived, and had a damned fine time growing up.
My son, a sophomore in college, is traveling this summer from our home in Alabama to work in Denver. He'll make the trip in a wonderful, sturdy old Volvo 240 with many miles on it. A co-worker was horrified: "I'd never let my child set out across the country in an old car." Well..... how sad for your child. Might my son have car trouble? Possibly. If so, he'll have to deal with it. And dealing with it will be part of the adventure.
This is all just another example of the egregious influence of our out-of-control media.
Oh, this is rich! A nation of hysterics that throws a fit about one child traveling across town by himself; and yet that same nation is silent about thousands of U.S. children who are marched halfway around the world to become cannon fodder.
If women had any kind of "motherlyness" about them, they would see to it that ALL children are cared for before pooping out a bunch of new ones.
Always makes me wonder what's wrong with women. Why do they insist on pooping brand new babies when there are thousands of good used kids to adopt.
Pathetic.
We can't take any chances in the protection of American children from any possible perceived harm. After all, we'll need them in the future to blow other nations' children to smithereens.
America is diseased.
One of the two big epiphanys when I moved to the city is how much more freedom city kids seem to have compared to the suburbs - no over protective parents, no neeed to be carried everywhere in a car. (My other epiphany was how enjoyable it was not needing a car myself.)
Our local transit authority even had discount teen-passes for a few years - the kids would go on their own to Kennywood Amusement Park.
In contrast, it seems that the further you go out in suburbia and rural fringes you go, the more wildly paranoid and over-protective parents become.
I have my own ideas why this is the case, but I'd like to hear others peoples ideas.
It should be noted that this hyper paranoia of suburban parents for their childre's safety is the primary driving force behind SUV sales, cell phone sales, and the pruchase of overly large homes in the (falsely) percieved to be safer outer suburbs, bristling with EDT security systems.
So, this paranoia makes some big corporatons a whole lot of money. Odd coincidence?
Excellent points. Most of us can give extreme examples of hysterical, over-the-top behavior by US parents out of their minds with media-induced fear. One of my own relatives called the police when her 13-year-old granddaughter didn't return from a friend's house down the street within the predetermined half-hour she was allowed, and this was in a relatively wealthy, suburban neighborhood. The cop who was charged with answering the call was known for scaring kids into obedience and threatened to drag the girl home by her hair if she disobeyed her grandmother again. The grandmother was pleased by the harsh response from the cop, feeling it would put fear of the outside world into her granddaughter.
One result of this deranged perception that children are always at risk is that kids don't play outside anymore, not even in their own yard. They're confined inside, where they know nothing but video games and TV, so we're raising a generation who know nothing about nature and thus won't have any appreciation of the importance of environmental issues.
And on the "sex offender" thing, that phrase has been expanded to encompass all kinds of non-threatening behaviors. There's a guy in our town who had the cops called on him and was prosecuted as a sex offender because some children saw him mooning a friend. So apparently these days a child seeing an adult's posterior is considered tantamount to rape. Sheesh. No wonder Europeans don't wanna vacation here or attend our universities anymore.
I'm from Baltimore. I wasn't particularly worried about kidnapping. My sons' experiences around the neighborhood included being gang raped; being beaten unconscious; forced to perform oral sex at knife point; running a gauntlet four or five times each week for months trying to get to school. I knew people who were shot to death and a six year old girl down the street who was murdered by a 13 year old and stuffed in a plastic bag. There were a couple of kids medivacced from the local school grounds in comas. My youngest son never did graduate from high school because of the violence and threats. He got a GED instead. He carefully avoided one area where five boys had beaten him with a two by four. I guess NYC must be safer for children.
I don't like this acceptance of "inform on your neighbor" that Skenazy received.
I have only heard of a few instances of crime that have happened to anyone I know: usually it involved being under the influence and out at 3am. Only 1 person I know has been killed by gunfire- but he was also dealing drugs.
I do not know anything about (black) gang violence but hear in my hometown over 30 people have been gunned down (not bystanders). So for my group anyway (the ones not in a gang or dealing drugs/crime) the biggest (regular/outside) fear is drunk-driving and std's.
Of course, the bigger problems are global warming, pollution, police states, and poverty...
Anyway... this article made me think of pshycollogical testing they do for astronauts- basically the human pshyce will absollutely break when exposed to prolong danger, tension, fear, isolation or other similiar pressures. No wonder we want so much 'medication'.
Interesting. I wouldn't think that all the isolation events (suburbs, SUVs, cell phones, etc) was caused by fear for our children, but rather the effects of glorification of personal isolation and me-ism cause us to be isolated from the greater community and more apt to think (and fear) anyone outside our shrinking circle. And because we are crowded (physically and communication-wise) we run into conflict, and respond with fear, and pass that to our children or treat our children within that constricting, fear-response isolated paradigm.
JCRUMB: I really want to read your comments, love, but it's hard when they're all caps. Could you save the caps for important stuff and write like the rest of us? Honest, it'll make your writing a whole lot easier to read.
litt_wmn@yahoo.com
The news editor first asks what maximizes profits, then asks what keeps him connected into the elite network. That would be cultivating the people's fear of terrorists/criminals to divert the people off the scent of the elites, and ultimately into chains.
"America has what about 12 million children that are hungry, our child poverty rate among industrialized nations is second only to Mexico"
Where did these statistics come from? Does any one know?
I agree with most, growing up I took the bus from my neighborhood to downtown starting at age 9. No problems ever. In fact the onlyb thing that upset me was the driver wouldn't allow me to sit at the back of the bus. I loved to look out the back window....it really hacked me off.
At least that problem is solved.
jcrumb, will you please lay off the all caps?
Dustin,
Believe it or not, there are plenty sunbelt-style suburban areas where transporting children in say, a BMW Mini, or old Geo Metro, would be regarded as "irresponsible".
When I was a little kid (eight or ten or so) I was running around in the 100-acre patch of mixed woods-and-fields behind my house, all day long, unaccompanied by an adult. I loved it there, although I have no idea who owned the property. It was full of cattle and deer and pheasants and grouse and foxes and there was a marsh and a stream and turtles and crayfish and frogs and fish and raccoons and rabbits and trees to climb and an old abandoned dam part-way across the stream to mess around on and so on. I suppose I could have drowned in the stream or broken my neck falling out of a tree or gotten gored by a bull or maybe even gotten kidnaped by a nut, but I didn't. I don't think there was much I was afraid of when I was eight.
Now, many years later, I'm afraid of a lot of things, especially my government. I'd like to trust my government again, like I used to trust lots of things when I was a kid, but, gee, somehow I don't think my government has my best interests at heart anymore.
Sorry, but I wouldn't let a nine-year old onto the subway alone. A fourteen year old maybe, but not a nine-year old.
jcrumb,
Using all capitals is the blog equivalent of SHOUTING! Use lowercase unless you have a word or two that you really need to emphasise. People are more likely to read your post that way.
There's one clear solution. Kids must be given guns.
That's the answer! A whole new industry could spring up by making miniature handguns carried in Donald Duck holsters. Every kid would be safe and Wall Street would boom.
Kindergartens could install shooting ranges and teach weapon maintenance. Sending your child to the shop for an ice cream could end up a real blast!
P.S. Depravity on my blog!
We live in a capitalist society. This is the absolutely WRONG society in which to raise children.
Anybody who decides to poop out a little brat here in America is deranged to begin with.
When I was 16 and just barely driving, a friend and I went to do some SF Bay Area duck hunting. We were going to stay at my friend's elder brother's place in Alameda that night, but there was some tension in the house between the Mr. and the Mrs. So we headed off and ended up in a driving rain storm, parking a few blocks on the west side of Broadway in Oakland. It was pouring and the wind was blowing 40 mph at I don't know 9 o'clock at night or so. So we're in a 58 Chevy with an aluminum boat on top, outboard in the trunk, chest waders and shotguns in the back seat, and we park in this dark, unlit street.
We get out, charge up the street just a block or two or so, and as we pass this drab, large building, we duck into its entry cove, and there's this incredible music coming through the door.
Like we never heard before.
We see it's a bar, but we duck in the door. To the right, along the street, is the bar. The rest is like an auditorium, and there's a band on the stage, maybe 20 people in the audience. It's a black place. We're white. It's 1968.
Halfway down the bar, the bartender is cleaning some glasses, talking with maybe 3 people. A big fellow is evidently the bouncer, and he's sort of giving us the evil eye... you know, the kind of look that you need to throw at two young white boys to get them out of there so you don't get into trouble. That was all fair and right.
But we had to watch this band if we could. After a while the bar tender, who is an older gentleman, comes down to our end of the bar and asks us politely if there was anything he could do for us?
Well, we told him frankly that we had heard the music, and had to step in. He apologized that because we were under age, he was going to have to ask us to leave.
He was quite graceful about that. We thanked him, apologized for our stupidity, and stepped outside.
The moment the doors shut behind us, the band started up again, and man, we just had to stop right there. So there we were, with our ears against this bar door, ready to get slammed upside the head. Well, we listed for a while like that, and then I had an idea.
So I asked my friend Dan if he thought the $20 I had in my pocket would buy the place a round of beer, and if maybe they'd let us stay like we were making a phone call or something? We decided to try.
So we went inside again and just stood there pretty innocently. The bouncer guy gave us the unapproving look. That was his job. Eventually the bar tender comes down to the end of the bar again.
I was waiting there and politely asked him if my $20 would buy the place a round, and if we could hang out by the phone like we were waiting for a call, to listen to the music.
He stepped back from the bar like I had pulled out a pistol. He shook his head politely, and said no, he couldn't do that.
Ooops.
I realized how stupid my question was. So I said, OK, how about if I just leave this $20 here then?
He looked at me, probably seeing I meant no harm; and casually turned and walked away.
Next thing you know, he's leaning across the bar. He whispers a few words to the bouncer, who's watching us the whole while.
Five minutes goes by. Then ten. Fifteen.
The bar tender then comes down to our end of the bar. We had stepped back 15 feet from the $20 bill, and were standing by the phone.
The bar tender casually snatches the $20, and in a minute he's pouring pitchers full of beer and the bouncer and he are taking them out into the audience. Great.
He never officially gave us permission to stay, but we stayed for hours until the show shut down.
Fifteen minutes after taking those beers out into the audience, he brought 2 beers down and left them on the end of the bar, never saying a word.
The show?
It was Jimi Hendrix.
But we never knew that until we heard him on an album a couple of years later.
Hi Paul,
Glad to see someone pointing out the insanity of fear and how it grips the United States today. How can we change ourselves for the better if we're emotionally paralyzed by fear and feelings of victimhood? To snap ourselves out of this negative state we need to understand we create our reality, whether it's by default (passive acceptance of negative values) or conscious creation.
To get a grip on life we need to begin asking ourselves questions that empower us. For example, in terms of creating our own personal realities, we need to ask ourselves questions like, what's going to work best for me?
* To love myself or hate myself?
* To believe in myself or disbelieve in myself?
* To trust myself or distrust myself?
* To believe that I'm basically good or basically bad?
* To see myself as separate from others or both one AND separate?
* To see myself as a valuable contributor to life or as a worthless burden to life?
* To be the conscious creator of my reality or the passive victim of it?
These are just a few questions we can ask ourselves to break the hold negative cultural and family values exert over us. When I was a kid, I got a kick out of lying under my cousin's crib and scaring him silly with ghostly sounds. In today's world, dominated by beliefs in separation and scarcity, instead of oneness and sharing, some adults (?) have made it their life's work to scare the public silly with lies and distortions so they can corner the market on most of the money, power and privilege in this country. Why? What's more exciting, or worth doing, than changing ourselves and the world for the better, especially now, when our backs are against the wall?
Thank you for your contribution to bringing sanity back into the world.
Regards,
Pete, www.diaryofaghost.net
"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Help change the world for the better with POTS! (Philosophy On T-Shirts)
http://www.thelifesongstore.com/
Some years ago a respectable study was done among American neighbors via two questions. "Do you think sex and lovemaking are OK on TV?" Most common answer: Yes, but I don't think my neighbors think so. "Do you like violence on TV?" Most common answer: No, but I think my neighbors do." Inference: TV has not united people more than it has separated and alienated them. Americans would rather listen to a TV lying than get the truth directly from and about the people living near them (or far away). And Americans go along with any kind of backward shit if they believe (via TV) that everybody else is. These are the craven lazy morons and masochists raising kids!
M MONTAGNE: Wow! You lucky duck! (Great strategy, you could teach our CIA boys far more diplomatic methods of getting info or "inside.")
Jack,
You must have known my folks!
Actually, I take your comments about TV seriously. You're right. It's like that electronic thing turns off the mind, lowers the soul to the pit of hell, and takes the masses like the invasion of the body snatchers... to do whatever serves some other purpose, against themselves.
For television, the media, we don't have a country any more.
I believe in the first amendment; but I believe it's also a responsibility to adhere to the truth (which means the whole truth), and even in entertainment, to provide a constructive model. The latter is difficult to ask for in a free society. But as we see here, when the pendulum swings so far one way, there's just nothing to bring it back.
Siouxrose,
I have no idea where you are coming from or going to with that comment, but between you and I, I'd rather build a world that doesn't need a CIA. I've been working on that quite a while as a matter of fact, and if anything, I probably suffer from being considered an enemy of the state. Not that I really am, mind you.
Yeah, it was quite a night.
But only because two white boys dared cross over into the African American side of town; and because... well, because the folks there would have us.
I'll never forget those people. And yes, it *was* all like magic.
I was behind a school bus as it came to a halt, out popped the RED sign and the lights were flashing. Then out of the door came boys and girls 16 years old. Now when I was 14 years old I had a full time job but nothing unusual in that 65 years ago but to molly cuddle these teenagers is a recipe for disaster. Not only is it a waste of taxpayers money but it's bad for the kids, they need excercise and they need to start being given adult responsibilties. If they haven't the gumption to cross the road unaided at 16 how do they hope to get a job in the near future.
PS. Are you really Sioux?
I have some good Native American stories too!
:-)
Seriously.
Anyway, if you are, preserve your heritage at all costs. It's worth it. The world needs you.
:-)
Seriously.
Three years ago I moved to Mexico with my wife and two kids, a boy 8 and a girl 10, My oldest daughter came down with her family for a visit and was horrified that we let the kids out on the street all day long during the weekends and in the evenings of the school days with the neighborhood kids. I guess she was influenced by all the killing and kidnappings at the border towns but our kids are doing fine, speak Spanish and are welcome anytime in the homes of our Mexican neighbors up and down the street.